We Can Dream, Can't We?

[oldnslo]

Wouldn't it be great to turn on the TV and hear ANY US president, Democrat or Republican, give the following speech?


My fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is finished.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me are two lists. One list contains the names of countries which stood by our side during the Iraq war. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, Poland, and a few others comprise this short list.

The other list contains every country not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on this second list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on the second list will cease immediately and indefinitely. The money saved in the first year alone will nearly pay the costs of the Iraq war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third-world countries and watch government leaders of those countries grow fat from corruption. If assistance is needed to combat famine or disease epidemic, contact some or all of the countries from the second list. If they are going to take on the role of concientious objectors, helping the sick and starving is the least they can do.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect moneys previously dedicated to foreign aid instead toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a warning to terrorist organizations: If you attack us in any way, we will hunt you down and elimininate you and all your associates from the face of the earth.

I am ordering the immediate severance of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. We are withdrawing from NATO as well.
Bon chance, mes amis

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, and shredded or crushed. Diplomatic immunity is rescinded in its entirety. Representatives of foreign governments committing crimes in the US will be prosecuted in the same manner as any other US citizen.

Effective immediately, the US is abrogating the NAFTA treaty. US citizens working in NAFTA countries will have 30 days to leave those countries, after which time they will no longer be recognized as US citizens, and not allowed to re-enter the US.

We will begin drilling for oil in Alaska, which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. We must not allow ourselves to be held hostage by oil cartels. Environmentalists opposing this are invited to move at once to the country of their choice from the second list.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I don't care what they think.

Nearly a century of trying to help people around the world live decent lives has only earned us the undying enmity of every country we have helped. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. Our efforts have to be for us first.

To our friends on the first list, we offer our heartfelt thanks and appreciation for your support. You can count on us to offer support when you need it.

To the countries on the second list who did not see fit to offer support to us when we needed you, in spite of saving virtually all your lives in previous wars and conflicts, we will remember this war as an arena for you to demonstrate your respective national character, or lack of it.

Thank you, and good night.


I stole this from a Honda forum, but they stole it frome somewhere else. It's still a good bunch of ideas.

[9000white]

continued--i would also like to announce that i am getting rid of all the thieves in Washington D.C.--- alas i wont be able to do that because there would be nobody left.

[MASHBY]

I couldn't agree more John a lot of the First World Nations need to start looking after their piece of Land and people.For a country that has it right look at Switzerland stays out of everything unemployment is unheard ever one has very good standard of living.Unfortuanlty I dont think it will ever happen.

[9000white]

you wont see the worlds human refuse crossing them borders.

[Nibblet99]

As far as I see, it, I pay taxes for services rendered to me, It shouldn't be used to give to other countries, to increase the public opinion of our government. Charities are there to fullfill that purpose, and it should remain my descision as to what & how much to give

[High_Side]

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I don't care what they think.

Finally, what the world has been asking for

Nearly a century of trying to help people around the world live decent lives has only earned us the undying enmity of every country we have helped.

Yes, it's all about the "others"

[oldnslo]

It's OK, Bruce, it'll never happen. Just a fantasy. We will always go where we aren't wanted, wear out our welcome there, and move on to the next place. Kinda like a homeless relative that lives with various members of the family for a while, then goes to the next one.
One difference is that we often kill the relatives, burn their house down, and destroy everything of value.
Our government notes that Canada has some natural resources, so watch out, cousin.........

[rwp]

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, and shredded or crushed. Diplomatic immunity is rescinded in its entirety. Representatives of foreign governments committing crimes in the US will be prosecuted in the same manner as any other US citizen.

First off, the Mayor of NYC doesn't take orders from the prez, secondly, diplomatic immunity runs both ways - better withdraw all US ambassadors before you start those prosecutions and third, confiscating and shredding the cars of anyone, American citizen or foreign national for three unpaid parking tickets would get you into some costly constitutional arguments. Why ask foreigners to obey the law if you are going to break it yourself?

Effective immediately, the US is abrogating the NAFTA treaty. US citizens working in NAFTA countries will have 30 days to leave those countries, after which time they will no longer be recognized as US citizens, and not allowed to re-enter the US..

US citizens have always had the right to live and work in other countries, since 1776. And stripping anyone of their citizenship is also unconstitutional. US citizenship can't be worth much if the gov't can just take it away like that.

We will begin drilling for oil in Alaska, which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

"...and money to pay off our national debt will begin flowing from my "O Ring" in a few minutes." While we're fantasizing here, why not solve all our problems with make believe?

[oldnslo]

Why not indeed? It's as close as we will get to solving them any time soon.
It looks like you went to some trouble to disect and analyze this little bit of fiction.....it really wasn't worth the effort, considering it is just fiction, merely containing a few opinions somebody had before and after we became the sugar daddy and protector of the world. It would be hard to change our global persona at this late date, but anything is possible, if not probable.

[Randy]

I pay taxes for bombs, at a very basic, secret level, that makes me happy.