Sunday 22 October 2006 - Birthday Rideout
It’s a damn good job I’ve got a spare riding suit and a spare lid (or two) and a spare pair of gloves (or three), otherwise I would have had to ride into work this morning in soaking wet gear. Wet leathers are not my favourite kind of perversion. Here’s the details.
Yesterday, Sunday, was rideout day of course, but it was also something else. Yesterday was my birthday. So it was happy birthday to me! Tum-ti-tumm! And what better way to spend a birthday than to go for a day-long rideout with some mates - and then relax in the evening with a Chinese meal in the company of a few more. I wasn't looking forward to my birthday this year, solo, without Di for the first time. But as it turned out, I had a great day!
And BTW October 22 is a rather special day on which to have a birthday. At the end of the eighteenth century, Bishop Usher, that worthy gentleman and scholar of the church, ransacked his Authorised Version of the Bible and concluded from his examination of scriptural evidence that the world was created on October 22nd, 4004 B.C. Now that is quite something, wouldn’t you think? Not a lot of people can say that they share their birthday with the known universe, can they? Hmmmm? For some reason – and I can’t imagine why - people are never very impressed when I tell them this. But that is probably a good thing. At least, their indifference will save me from becoming a Creationist.
There weren’t many of us on the club rideout today, just David (as always) on his Triumph Trophy; Ian on his red Triumph Daytona painted over with Union Jacks and Lions and other patriotic things; Geoff on his big mean-looking black Suzuki GSX1400 (Geoff is pretty big and mean-looking himself); Mark on his Tuono; Drumwrecker on his newly acquired (and newly polished) white 1991 VFR; Keith on his KTM and me on the SV. Squeaky wasn’t coming out to play today. His CBR600F, his pride and joy, had acquired a nasty engine rattle last week - a big job it sounded like - and he’d put it in to a dealer to get the work done. He’s already had trouble with the cam chain tensioner this year. Not a happy man, I hear.
We were taking a trip up into the wilds of the Lincolnshire Fens (marsh, bog, swamp, bloody wet stuff, full of drainage ditches - that's the fens). We haven’t been out this way much recently, so it felt like a welcome change. And with the clocks going back next week it would probably be the last long ride of the year. The roads up to the fens are good and varied. We set off for a short way up the A1(M) and as boring as the A1 generally is, it made a change of route out of the immediate area. We headed off to Huntingdon, then up into East Anglia through the twisties and along some pretty good minor A-roads.
The breakfast stop was the Red Lodge transport café on the B1085 where, over plates of bacon and egg and sausage, Drumwrecker and I had a disagreement about the virtues (or otherwise) of Mr Brunstrom, Chief Constable of the North Wales police and the country’s No 1 bike-hating policeman - if the motorcycle press is to be believed. It is not hard to be a bike-hating policeman in the UK at present. There appear to be a lot of them.
Mr Brunstrom is now doing a ‘blog’ on the internet, which looks less like a blog and more like a huge publicity stunt to improve his image. He’s trying to present himself as a sensible sort of chap and is trying very hard not to rant on about stupid suicidal bikers, but from his latest efforts he doesn't appear to be succeeding very well.
We finished up our (excellent) breakfasts and set off again deeper into fen country. The huge East Anglian skies showed generally grey and dismal above us but the weather remained dry and reasonably pleasant. For the first time this year, though, I wished I’d worn my neck-tube. Autumn was finally, and very suddenly, all around us.
At Chippenham we stopped for a while on the side of the road to watch riders staggering round the course of an off-road riding school. I’ve been thinking about doing a day’s off-roading at somewhere like that. I’ve never done anything but road riding (except occasionally, by accident, in my younger riding days). It looks like a lot of fun and would be good experience for the IndiaEnduro. Given everything I’ve heard about the condition of Indian roads, there isn’t much difference between road riding and off-roading on the sub-continent. And besides, the Enduro organisers like to make things a bit dangerous and challenging for their riders, so it might just be a very good idea. Some guys who do the Enduro have hardly ever ridden a bike before in their lives. They take the test a few months before flying out to India and have only a couple of hundred miles riding under their belt before they go. Is this sheer madness or a daring spirit of adventure? One way or another, you’ve got to hand it to them!!!
That reminds me, I must get my Indian Visa and International Driving Permit sorted out soon.
Soon after Chippenham we hit ‘The Italian Road’, which I blogged about a couple of days ago. By reputation ‘The Italian Road’ is the bumpiest road in Britain. It isn’t as bad as I had imagined, but it sure is bumpy. I just couldn’t stop laughing in my lid all the way along it. The proper name for ‘The Italian Road’, is even better. It is called Prickwillow Road, as it leads to the village of Prickwillow. I love these East Anglian Names.
Beyond Prickwillow we entered Ely, passing by the amazing Romanesque cathedral – a huge pre-gothic building, over 1,000 years old, with a very unusual octagonal tower. Sitting on its low rise (the only bit of elevated land for miles around in this very flat landscape) the cathedral dominates the skyline and is known as ‘The Ship of the Fens’. We pressed on northwards, up to the lowlying lands around the huge double estuary of The Wash, over endless draininge ditches and through bleak-looking villages which appear not really to belong here. They all look as though they have been set gently down on this totally flat landscape and could blow away at any minute. They have strange names like ‘Upwell’ and ‘Outwell’ and ‘Three Holes’ and ‘Four Gotes’ and ‘Whaplode Drove’.
Many of the roads have deep drainage ditches immediately on either side of them. Boy racers are always killing themselves round here, haring down these roads at night, pissed out of their heads and rolling their cars into the ditches, where they drown unceremoniously in the murky depths. I have some sympathy for them. If I were a teenager living round here I think I’d go mad from frustration too and do stupid things.
The A1073, through Cowbit, was posted with a sign which said '51 fatalities this year'. (

) And this is a road that is only about five miles long. It is a narrow, twisty road raised up on levees above the flood plain which stretches into the distance on either side. I can imagine gangs of frustrated teenagers playing the Fenland version of Russian Roulette along here in their stolen cars on cloudy, moonless nights.
This is a strange part of Britain. There is almost no defined 'coast' at all. As you approach the sea, the soil just gets muddier and wetter and then, if you continue walking, you notice that the wet mud has gradually turned into muddy water, and before you know it you are paddling in the murky fringes of the North Sea. (Have I blogged about the Fenlands before? I can't remember.)
Flooding must be common around here these days. The land has been drained and pumped for centuries, but with the rise of the sea levels out in the North Sea the pumps can no longer handle it. I understand that the government intends to abandon the coastal defences for good when the sea starts to come in. The local farmers are not best pleased. Do the government know what they are taking on? I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of an East Anglian farmer. The Gods round here demand regular blood sacrifice - so the rumour goes. From time to time, Susan, a friend and neighbour, fixes me with her beady, twinking eye and says darkly that all the tales they tell of folk in these parts and of strange goings-on are ALL TRUE. She's from Norwich originally, so who am I to disbelieve her?
You know those posts painted with black-and-white bands and marked eight feet, nine feet, ten feet, etc - the ones you see sticking up out of the rivers to indicate the depth of the water. Out here in the fens, you see them at the side of the road as well. Next time I come out this way I will tie a small dinghy to the back of the bike.
We stopped off at the ‘Hunter' resturaunt between Holbeach and Wisbeach for tea and cakes. Oh hell! I hate it when we stop here. From the outside this place looks just like an ordinary, greasy-spoon transport café, but inside, it is a wonderland of home-made cakes and pies and puddings. I’m cursed with a raging sweet tooth on the one hand and a bundle of allergies that make it impossible for me to eat this stuff on the other. It’s just sheer torture being here. I had to get up and leave the table as the custard tarts and layer cakes and apple pies swimming in cream started to arrive in front of the others.
As we left the café, I caught Keith looking appraisingly at my tyres in the carpark outside. I’m always a bit worried when he does that. One Sunday, about a month ago Keith, Drumwrecker and I rode out to Fox’s café just south-east of Oxford. We took a ride back home along a new route we’d not tried before. One of the B-roads was extremely bumpy. One particularly large and unexpected bump lofted the bike an inch or so above the road and lofted me several inches above the bike. The bike came down onto the tarmac. I came down too - onto the front end of the tank. Allow me to define this moment for you: “Ohhhhhhhh Aggggkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkksh Nggggggaaaaaaaaaargh! #@@#&&&%$$$!!!!!!!!!! ”
Bloody Keith’s KTM went sailing over the bumps (“What bumps” he was later heard to remark in response to an enquiry of Drumwrecker’s. I hate KTM riders.) My SV was all over the place. I must take some time to notch up that suspension one day, I thought, for the umpteenth time as I bounced along. Later the wind got up. We had some strong blustery crosswinds and again the SV had several moments of skidding about.
It was only when I got onto the A505 Offley by-pass that I realised that something else was amiss, something that had nothing to do with bumpy roads or crosswinds. The bike started sliding everywhere. Oh-ho! This was beginning to feel serious. I was close to home now, so I rode the last mile or so carefully up to my front door and had a look at the back tyre. Sure enough, there was the head of what must have been a bloody big nail embedded into the rubber.
Even then, I wouldn’t have felt such a great loon for not realising, if it hadn’t been for something Keith had said earlier when we stopped for a drink at a pub in that big estate village beginning with ‘W’ whose name I can never remember. The village was just about half-way home from Fox’s. We were sitting outside at some tables when he looked over at my bike and casually remarked, “You’ve got a puncture.” We, all three, looked more carefully and decided that, no it wasn’t a puncture it was just the way the shadows were gathered around the base of the tyre. Just to make sure though, I got up and gave the tyre a scientifically aimed kick. Nope, that was pretty sound, I thought, and we all went back to the conversation. Ho Hum!
So, now I always get worried when Keith starts looking at my tyres.
After I got got the bike home and sussed the problem, I left it outside the house for half-an-hour. In that time the tyres cooled and when I returned to have another look, the back one was as flat as a pancake. Lucky! I’d ridden all the way home from W… possibly even from Oxford on it. Talk about living on borrowed time!
I managed to arrange for A&M Motorcyles to change the tyre for me a couple of days later. That morning, I crossed my fingers, pumped the tyre up and rode the bike to the garage, five miles away in the next town of Letchworth, carrying the foot pump in my rucksack. The tyre stayed up for the whole journey – just. I also took a bit of advice from ‘Toby,’ (Mr Suzuki 'Bandit') my next door neighbour, and squeezed some SuperGlue around the head of the nail half-an-hour before I set off. Whether it helped or not, I don’t know. Toby's other pet method of dealing with holes in tyres is to remove the nail or whatever and screw a screw with a countersunk head into the hole. The SuperGlue idea struck me as being potentially more reliable.
While they were at it, I asked A&M Motorcycles to do a full service (there were 28,000+ miles on the clock just then) and check the shims. They found that two shims needed replacing. They did a good job, and they charged a ‘good’ price for doing it – that’s ‘good’ from their point of view. It cost me £538.00 the lot. Ouch! I know changing the shims is a time-consuming and expensive job but that’s a lot of dosh. Next year… Next year, I’m going to do that NVQ course in Motorcycle Maintenace at Bedford College. I can’t go on being a mechanophobe if it is going to cost me that much.
Our penultimate stop on yesterday’s rideout was a large dealership in Eye, just north of Peterborough. It sold mostly Yamahas and Triumphs, but there were loads of other bikes on show as well. I saw a second-hand ’03 SV1000S, exactly the same as mine, on sale in the shop. The asking price on the tag was more than the price I paid for mine when it was new. There was also a very nice looking Bonnie T100 in orange and cream for sale at a very good price – lovely. I was mildly tempted. But only mildly,
A light rain had begun before we got to the dealership, so we were happy to spend a while looking at the bikes and accessories. It had more or less dried up by the time we came out, but began once again as soon as we got on the bikes. The rideout finished with a deluge. Those grey skies that had been hanging around all day, finally decided to do some proper business. The clouds were low - a single uniform grey mass from horizon to wide horizon. You couldn’t work out where the clouds ended and the rain began. As we hit the A1 for a quick ride home the wet stuff began to bucket down all around us, spray was everywhere, visibiliy declined to nothing and the world went all twinkly.
No doubt I’ve said this before, but I like riding in the wet. I like doing almost anything in the wet. As we rode home down the A1 visibility improved and riding became a sheer pleasure. I had a great time. We rode home at a good speed for most of the way. At the MacDonalds just north of Biggleswade we went our spearate ways. I got home soaked to the skin. So, as I said, it’s a good thing I had some spare gear for going to work the following day.
POSTSCRIPT [Edit] After posting this on Monday evening I got my gear back on and set out for the Robin Hood pub in Walkern. Monday night is club night and each Mondy we meet at a local pub. The Robin Hood is a bit grotty, very smoky and much too small for a club the size of the S&DMCC, but it is a frequent and traditional winter venue. It's not too far from where most of us live (about nine miles in my case) so it does attract people out in the cold winter months when the "Stevenage and District Motorcyle Club" transforms itself into the "Stevenage and District Light Van and Car Club" and the endlessly repeated in-joke goes. (I'm sure I've repeated it here several times before.)
The road from Stevenage to Walkern is actually just a narrow, twisty lane with several sharp, greater-than-ninety-degree bends which come at you suddenly as you ride along between tall banks and hedges. It snakes along all up-hill and down-dale, so you have to take care when riding it, especially on winter nights when the sky is dark and the roads are icy. Tonight was the coldest night of the year so far. The sky above was starry and cloudless and there was a hint of frost in the air.
There was a reasonable turnout at the pub. Half the guys had come on bikes, half on four wheels. The conversation was good and lively, though I heard something which I wish I hadn't. Murray (a man with 'Triumph' tatooed upon his heart) was telling everyone that 'Lings', a dealership down in Watton-at-Stone, had four brand spanking new 955i Daytonas on sale at £4,600 a throw. That sounded like a deal and a half! I felt my juices rising. I love Daytonas. Oh God!

Now, I'm going to have a crisis of conscience. I'm really not sure how to handle this. I'm tempted. More than mildly tempted this time. What do I do?
As I came out of the pub with Gail and Murray, the skies, which had been busy clouding over all the time I was grappling with my inner confilcts in the pub, started to chuck it down. Down it came harder and harder. I was wearing my second helmet, an HJC. The lining in my Arai, the lid I normally wear, was still wet from the day before and sitting in the airing cupboard at home. The HJC has no anti-fogging device fitted, so the moment I put it on in all this dampness, it steamed up. Nothing I could do would make any difference. I couldn't see a bleeding thing. I love the wet weather, but I do like to know whether I am aimed down the road or into the hedge. I just fastened my eyes on Murray and Gail's tail-light ahead and hoped Murray could see better than I could.
Within two minutes my leathers were soaked through, again. The skies had been so clear earlier in the evening that I'd left my waterproofs at home. How many years have I lived on this bloody island??????
[Edit 2] For nerdy grammatical purposes.