Dad wont let me

Message

Jas0n · #1 Unread post by **Jas0n** » Thu May 31, 2007 1:23 am

Uh oh...

After many hours of reading, reviewing and studying various motorcycle manuals and motorcycles themselves, Ive found myself in quite an undesirable situation.

I cannot stand waiting.. I hear of games and products being releasd NEXT year and I go crazy.
However, instead of that, its about riding a motorcycle. I told my dad how safe I would be. I would never ever ride without a helmet and jacket. I wouldn't be one of those silly teenagers who don't wear their shirt while speeding in a 15 mph school zone.

Because of all the bad press, the amount of single vehicle accidents regarding motorcycles, hes almost brainwashed to the point at which he Guarantees I'll lose my legs.

I know hes older and wiser than me (he even said that) but seriously, Motorcycles are becomnig my love. Liek RIGHT NOW I'm typing this in a computer class at school. Instead of brushing it off, waiting to get my car lisense, then getting my motorcycle liscense, I feel like I need to fight for it. Not because I have to wait so long, but because even when I get my car lisense he'll still be thinking the same things about me while I have the bike. I want him to at least calm down a little bit and understand that motorcycles can be extremely fun and safe is used responsibly. In the manual I read that a good rider always looks for trouble in order to avoid it. That to me personally is almost a totally different mindset compared to what car drivers need to go through.
Which brings me to another point. He says he wants me to learn to drive first in order to experience being around bikes on the street. He wants me to understand how hard it is to see them. Even when I told him I'll be wearing bright cloathing, my bike would probably be bright colors, I'll always use signals (hand if necesary), make sure I don't go too fast whilist heading towards a car turning left, and I definitly will never speed, he still thinks its too dangerous.

I like the feeling of being on the edge of something, and a car seems soooo borrrrinnggg (thats why I didnt get my car permit yet).

I dont know what to say. My dad doesnt want me to get a bike at least untill I learn to drive a car. I told him I probabbly wont even get a job if I get a car (I dont feel like paying insurance for something I dont even enjoy riding, if I do anyways. ) I will try to get the best job possible if I get a bike though, mainly cause paying for my own bike and future bikes would be very... ownership-like. lol, I don't know, the feeling of knowing that machine is mine because I used my own money on it.

A lot of his arguments are invalid (I even pointed him out on some of them) and I pretty much brought him down to a simple yet very serious "because I said so". Now, from my personal experience, this is a reply in desperation, so he must really not want me to do this (even if I do wait for my car lisense).

So, any ideas?
The best advise would be regarding my 6 month wait time for a car lisense, but advise about my dad and motorcycles in general would be great also.

Fast Eddy B · Thu May 31, 2007 1:34 am

You're not going to like this advice. Wait a while for the bike.

Get a driver's license, and start figuring out the myriad ways jackass drivers can F%&$ up the rules of the road. Practice calling out other people's lane changes before they even put a turn signal on. Drive a manual transmission and become expert at friction zone, hillstarts and weight shifting using the throttle.

Get a job, get some training, and in some time you can move out of the house. Then you can do what you want, and NOT be able to afford it.

I found out about motorbikes when I was 26. I trained, got a bike and rode it in London. I'm now 31, living in Bahrain, and will not get a bike here. I value my future riding years too much.

You might not like this....but it might help a bit.

Nibblet99 · #3 Unread post by **Nibblet99** » Thu May 31, 2007 2:01 am

That "because I said so" must be quite a crushing blow to you, but the point about blind spots is very valid.

I rode a bike, before driving a car, I can tell you know that my defensive riding improved a lot as soon as I started in the car too. I'm not saying that I wasn't safe before, but that I'm more safe now. the difference is that I know where all the blind spots are, and ALSO where all my natural reactions (that I have to fight) are to look before a maneuver.

Probably not what you want to hear, but why not go for the good job, and get a car for 6-12 months (racking up a few thousand miles), get the experience, then replace it with a motorcycle. This will probably go a long way to show your parents that you're committed to responsible, safe riding.

Also depending on where you are, it can take many months in advance to book your msf anyway, which will give you a great introduction to motorcycles.

Just be honest and open with your folks (don't stoop to name calling - gotta keep that moral highground

) and see how it plays out.

As was mentioned above, this also gives you time to learn to predict traffic well (I can not put into words how valuable this skill is), as when you do get on the bike, theres so much information your brain needs to process, having some of the skills as 2nd nature will help immensely. I find predicting traffic is actually easier on the bike, due to the fact I can see over cars and hence whats happening ahead. but you still have to be scanning the road for gravel, oil and potholes at the same time.

jonnythan · #4 Unread post by **jonnythan** » Thu May 31, 2007 2:19 am

I think that gaining experience with traffic and roadways in a car is dangerous enough.

I sure as heck wouldn't have wanted to learn about the road AND riding a bike at the same time. It was hard enough in a car.

Get a car for a couple years and drive it everywhere. Put as many miles on it as you can. Get used to the road, get your first accident out of the way, get your close calls. Get through all that stuff in a car and in a couple years, once you're pretty comfortable in the car, then get a bike.

anarchy · #5 Unread post by **anarchy** » Thu May 31, 2007 2:20 am

good responses so far...

first thing is to start working with your dad, not against him. whether you agree or disagree with his reasons, they're valid. he obviously cares enough about you to try to protect you. sure, you can't be protected from everything, but your dad is going to do everything he can to protect you as much as he can.

whether you like it or not, get a job and a car. the job will help you support yourself as well as give you an opportunity to save money for your bike, gear and insurance. the car will help you with driving skills - more so than you understand right now. and pops is probably right, drive for at least a year before considering a bike.

also look into taking a motorcycle safety class. let your dad know you won't get a bike without taking the class.

scan · #6 Unread post by **scan** » Thu May 31, 2007 2:37 am

How old are you? If you are still under 18 (I guess in most places anyway), he's the boss, so deal with it for now and get the car thing under your belt. You'll always be able to make use the driver's license anyway. You can even get some jobs that have you drive, which are great jobs when you are young and have very little other experience. All year around, anywhere in the coutnry, once you have a drivers license you'll always be able to operate a motor vehicle, even in the dead of winter in places where you couldn't ride a bike (due to ice and whatnot). After you comply with his rules, and have this useful skill, you can push for the next step. It seems very hard, but you will have many years of joyful motorcylcing to come - better to do it the right way. I think the comments above mine are very valid. Take the advice and good luck. Stay in touch here. This is a great place to keep learning about the world you want to join.

Duane · #7 Unread post by **Duane** » Thu May 31, 2007 3:46 am

Totally get some experience driving a car first on the streets. There are so many horrible drivers out there its not even funny. At least in a car you got a little protection around you while you learn what to look for. Trust me, drivers ed and safety classes are very helpful but never fully prepare you as real life experience does. I've only been street riding for about a month but I can tell you from personal experience, what I know from driving a car has saved my "O Ring" at least 3 times already. Damn soccer moms and their SUVs....

As for your Dad, start getting books, magazines, anything that includes safety and riding techniques. Start reading those and leaving them around for your dad to read through. With a little luck this may spark his interest and the best way to get support for the bike is to include your dad in your passion. See if he would be interested in taking a safety class with you; the safety class would give you both a great introduction as to what exactly your wanting to get yourself into.

Your dad may also be willing to let you get into dirt biking instead for now. I would try pushing for a cheap enduro, with this bike you can ride off road at designated parks, sate land or where ever and when you do finally get your endorsement you can take it to the streets.

Ian522 · #8 Unread post by **Ian522** » Thu May 31, 2007 5:14 am

Sorry dude but your dad is right. You should first get a car and spend a couple years learning the rules of the road. Getting a bike as your first vehicle without any real world driving experiance would definately increase the risk factor.

I know as a teenager the last thing you want to do is listen to your parents. But they have been around the block and they know better. I wish I had taken my parents advice more when I was a teen...id be alot better off today.

BugCountry · Thu May 31, 2007 5:59 am

I'm glad I didn't get a motorcycle until now. I'm turning 26 this september and so I will be a licensed driver for 8 years. I started out driving a hot rod with a 400ci engine and I did a lot of stupid things that could have gotten me and someone else killed not even to mention the stupid things other drivers have done in front of me. I thank God that I haven't gotten hurt or had an accident because of how I used to drive but I definitely would not have gotten away with some of that stuff if I was on a bike. Now that I have experience it is much easier at least for me, to make the transition to a 2 wheeler since I have a very good idea of what to look for and expect. Don't think for a minute I didn't want a dirt bike for all my life but now I have a cruiser so it all worked out. My parents were very resistant to me getting a motorcycle even till now but they changed their minds so I consider it literally an answered prayer. If you can't get a bike now get a used convertible until you can. (next best thing as far as I can figure) I learned a ton from my dad and from working on my old car. I know how I was when I was a teenager and when I got my first car and I will bet you that your dad does too. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven [ecclesiastes 3:1] It may be that you are meant to wait as I waited so that when you do get a motorcycle you can fully and safely enjoy it in that time.

Ian522 · #10 Unread post by **Ian522** » Thu May 31, 2007 6:58 am

BugCountry wrote:I'm glad I didn't get a motorcycle until now. I'm turning 26 this september and so I will be a licensed driver for 8 years. I started out driving a hot rod with a 400ci engine and I did a lot of stupid things that could have gotten me and someone else killed not even to mention the stupid things other drivers have done in front of me. I thank God that I haven't gotten hurt or had an accident because of how I used to drive but I definitely would not have gotten away with some of that stuff if I was on a bike. Now that I have experience it is much easier at least for me, to make the transition to a 2 wheeler since I have a very good idea of what to look for and expect. Don't think for a minute I didn't want a dirt bike for all my life but now I have a cruiser so it all worked out. My parents were very resistant to me getting a motorcycle even till now but they changed their minds so I consider it literally an answered prayer. If you can't get a bike now get a used convertible until you can. (next best thing as far as I can figure) I learned a ton from my dad and from working on my old car. I know how I was when I was a teenager and when I got my first car and I will bet you that your dad does too. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven [ecclesiastes 3:1] It may be that you are meant to wait as I waited so that when you do get a motorcycle you can fully and safely enjoy it in that time.

Well said...some real good advice here. Your story is very similar to mine bugcountry and I know exactly what you mean.