a funny...

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#31 Unread post by **dr_bar** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:52 pm

The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind
him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will
be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls
out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into
his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks
the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man. ! "Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in
your pocket every time?"

"We'll," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put
my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be
there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million
dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big arse and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Apollofrost · Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:29 am

ouch, better than the guy who got a 12" pianist.

#33 Unread post by **dr_bar** » Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:01 am

My Humps Parody - Alanis Morrisette

#34 Unread post by **dr_bar** » Tue May 08, 2007 6:28 am

Friendship is like peeing your pants.

Everyone can see it,

but only you can feel the true warmth.

#35 Unread post by **dr_bar** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:43 pm

I was just watching the news a little while ago and saw the story about the fires in Greece. Apparently all the antiqities are being threatened and then they showed the water bombers trying to put the fires out. I damn near fell out of my chair.

Everyone knows you can't put out a Greece fire with water...

bada boom! :LMAO:

BuzZz · #36 Unread post by **BuzZz** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:31 pm

Ha!... now that was funny.

#37 Unread post by **Wrider** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:43 pm

Seeing as Dad's a firefighter...

Good one, I'll have to pass that one on!
Wrider

#38 Unread post by **dr_bar** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:23 pm

I have to admit that I stole that from another site...

#39 Unread post by **dr_bar** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:32 am

Another I stole from another site...

George Bush goes to school...

George Bush goes to a Primary School to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.
" Stanley " replies the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley ?"

"I have 4 questions:
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don 't have health insurance?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.
"Johnnie" he responds.
"And what is your question, Little Johnnie?"

"Actually Sir, I have 6 questions:
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don ' t have health insurance?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the F***K happened to Stanley ?"

Apollofrost · Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:22 pm

nice!