Lion_Lady wrote:shane-o wrote: Greg . wrote:Hey All,
Right now, she is ... shall I say ... 'resistant'. She's not adamantly stomping her foot down, but she's not real crazy about me taking up riding either. Part of that may be that since she's a physical therapist, she has to deal with the rehabilitation of injuries day in and day out.
Anyway, have any of you had to deal with this from a wife/husband?
geezuz christ mate !!!!
Here in Oz the men wear the pants, what the puck is going on over there
You go and buy ya bike and you tell her if she is lucky you might let her wash it for you on sundays.
.
My guess is that you're not married, are you shane-o? Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and things generally go a bit more smoothly all around when this sort of thing is taken slowly.
Besides, it looks like Greg isn't anywhere near ready to buy a bike this week. Why push his wife's buttons, when there's a chance she may "come around" on her own if he takes some time to get her used to the idea? After all, she hasn't said, "No," merely expressed some resistance.
P
I have been married for 9 years and with my wife for 14years
We have a very equal relationship, so equal, that If I need to persue activities in my life whether they be risk taking or not, provided that the level of respect for our partner exisits and is maintained, then there is no resistance and it goes both ways.
My wife would never try to prevent me from riding a bike, that doesnt mean she isnt affraid that I may be hurt or worse, it just means she puts her own selfish wants and needs behind her to allow me to be who I am, as I would do for her.
Your offering is just shifting the balance of power to this poor guys wife by instructing him to await approval from his wife before he persues an activity that is not disrespectful or imorral, causing him to feel like a 5 year old who wants a 3 pound block of chocolate while shooping with his mom. Why should he in an equal relation ship be bound by his wife so she can be selfish by denying him the freedom to ride a bike just becuase she is scared of the unkown ??? selfish selfish selfish .
If it has to do with the finacial impact on their situation or if he is doing it for some other hidden agenda to impact upon her negatively or just maybe he doesnt allow her to be who she is..... then fair enough, but if he just wants to ride because its his dream and she stops it just because she can then that is wrong. She is not the one riding, he is, so what if she is worried about his safety !!! im sure he has assessed whether its an acceptable risk and has decided it is, its her issue that she lives in fear not his.
Living in fear sucks !!!
and im spent
any further relation advice please feel free to contact me ay time
Dr Shane-o.
.
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