The English Language.

[Triumphgirl]

So, you think English is easy, huh? Read to the end and see if you still think so.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

[Johnj]

twice!

[Triumphgirl]

twice!

[ceemes]

I've read that English is the 2nd most hardest language to learn and master, the 1st being Arabic.

[Triumphgirl]

I've read that English is the 2nd most hardest language to learn and master, the 1st being Arabic.

I Heard that too, but somehow I would think chinese would be hell.

[Amdonim]

I don't know specifically about Chinese, but I know it uses one of the same "alphabet" for lack of a better word (it actually shares Kanji, which is a collection of symbols for whole words). In Japanese, the language is incredibly easy to learn, but the hard part is remembering how to read and write all that Kanji. (there are also two syllabaries, which is like an alphabet, but each symbol combines a consonant and a vowel.)

[Mokushi]

I've read that English is the 2nd most hardest language to learn and master, the 1st being Arabic.

I heard it was Icelandic.

English is a completely insane language... So many irregularities... Most words don't even follow the set of rules you're taught as a child. That's why it's so bloody hard!

I'm glad I already know it

[sv-wolf]

I've read that English is the 2nd most hardest language to learn and master, the 1st being Arabic.

That's because it's not a language; it's a fruit salad.

Anyone know George Bernard Shaw's lesson in spelling?

"GHOTI"

This, he points out, is a perfectly good alternative English spelling for "fish"

"GH" as in 'enough'
"O" as in 'women'
"TI" as in 'fiction'

My favourite phrase in English is the one we use when we give something to someone:

"Here you are," we say. Now what the f... does that mean? Work it out if you can!

[NorthernPete]

When giving something to someone who just showed up.

Here you are, here you go.

[Mokushi]

I've read that English is the 2nd most hardest language to learn and master, the 1st being Arabic.

Anyone know George Bernard Shaw's lesson in spelling?

"GHOTI"

This, he points out, is a perfectly good alternative English spelling for "fish"

"GH" as in 'enough'
"O" as in 'women'
"TI" as in 'fiction'

Yeah, we looked at that in my English language course. A good point, I think.

My favourite phrase in English is the one we use when we give something to someone:

"Here you are," we say. Now what the f... does that mean? Work it out if you can!

I never thought about that... It makes no sense... How did people ever start saying that nonsense?

My personal favourite: "Now then". It's never sounded right to me...