So much joy and so much grief from one blue machine
It is ironic that the one thing that has brought so much joy into my life is also the one thing that has caused me so much grief.
I am sensitive at the best of times and I don’t have very broad shoulders which is why I find myself at a crossroad on my journey as a motorcyclist. I have been inundated with opinions and advice from the first day I brought home my bike. I have tried to ride the way I was taught but yet somehow I never feel like I quite measure up.
Complete strangers approach me and start telling me what I should do or not do with my bike. They tell me things I don’t want to hear or don’t need to know. The last thing I need is for some man who “used to ride” to start “dissecting” my bike and then embellishing with a story that if I don’t do what he says I will crash and get my legs chopped off.
I have no problem asking questions if I don’t know something so I truly don’t appreciate unsolicited opinions, advice or comments. It’s never women who start telling me negative stuff. It’s always men. I have always received such positive feedback from women but for some reason some men feel the need to “tell me what to do” or put down my bike because it’s “not a Harley Davidson”. I always tell them the same thing. I like my bike. If you want a Harley you can go get one. Someone even suggested I take the logo off the gas tank so it wouldn’t look like a Yamaha.
Why?
I get given a hard time about everything. I can’t even put on some lipstick without someone giving me the gears. I have had men give me a hard time about my choice of helmet. Men have made comments about my lack of armour in the sleeves of my jacket. Total strangers have come up to me and started hassling me about my boots. Men from work say things about the clothes. In the beginning comments were made because I rode “too cautious” and now that I have a lot more confidence comments have been made about my “daring” because I can finally have some fun. I've even been told the way I shoulder check is wrong. Well, I need to turn my head as far as I do to see around the edge of my helmet.
People keep telling me I need to get this for my bike or that for my bike. I don’t have the cash and I am beginning to feel like I am such a loser because I don’t have the “right stuff” accessorizing my bike.
When I made the mistake of saying out loud that I was considering selling my car, you would have thought I committing a crime. Gasp! You can’t sell your car! And on and on and on. It’s more people telling me what I should do or not do.
I struggled financially and emotionally to achieve what I have achieved with my motorcycling. I can no longer take the relentless comments made by the men I have come across. I am so bereft at the present time I don’t know which way is up anymore. I took the bus to work the last 2 days. I have put insurance on my car for the upcoming weekend. I am going to go backpacking for a couple of days and have a cooling off period.
It hasn’t been just strangers either. Men who are supposed to be my friends have also had their jabs. I just don’t know how to handle these situations. I was brought up to be polite and being rude is something I am not good at. Although if I am pushed I will fight back but then I am left feeling drained. I don’t want to be rude to my friends but I don’t know how to tell them to quit giving me hard time about everything without offending. I have been given a hard time because I choose not to drink alcohol. Why does it have to turn into almost a shouting match to get some guy to get off my case because I don’t want to drink? I never, ever, drink and ride or drive. Ever.
So, it is decision time.
A: I am thinking of selling my bike and just tell myself I did it…I achieved it and take satisfaction from that and move on.
B: I can park it for the winter and decide in the spring what to do.
The insurance on the bike expires October 15. The bike will be exactly one year old. The whole process of learning, buying, riding, getting licensed and having adventures has been a mixture of sweat, tears, smiles and laughter. It has also been fraught with a lot of tension due to the snobs and know it alls who won’t mind their own business and keep giving me unsolicited advice and a hard time about everything.
If anyone reading this has had the same problems feel free to add a post. Is it just because I am a woman or do some of the men also have the same problems? Tell me how you dealt with your situations. Maybe I can learn some tactics from you. I would once again like to be a happy motorcyclist, but 30 days from tomorrow may be my last day if I don’t resolve my dilemma and my sad/bad feelings.
along with the red face from the climb to the top of Goat Mountain.
Mike 
