Need a woman's advice....

[GiddyBOI]

Hello All,

I'm 20...montreal, quebec...how i talk my mom into lettin me get a bike. No financial issues...just her safety concerns.

PLEASE HEEELP

[jmillheiser]

I would suggest taking a safety course. Gettting proper gear, and then just get the bike and ride.

Its hard to convince a parent BEFORE getting the bike. Only way to prove that you can ride and not get yourself killed is to go out and ride.

[Loonette]

In my opinion, if you're 20 years old, why do you feel you need her permission? Is there an age restriction of some sort in Canada for those under 21 or something? (I'm not being facicious - I really don't know) I know you can't drink in the US until you're 21, which I also think is silly, but anyway...

Unless there is some legal issue with your age, her job raising you is over. If my kids grew up and told me that they wanted to base jump off cliffs or go hang gliding (activities that terrify me!), I would have to assume that I did a good enough job raising them for them to make their own adult decisions. And they would be responsible for the outcome of those decisions as well.

I know it seems odd to go against your parent(s) - up until a certain age it is is in their right to decide what you do and don't do. But still... you're a grownup now, and sometimes it takes something like a decision to start up biking to make this realization happen. When I was 20 years old, I got my first tattoo. I knew most people in my life wouldn't approve (including my mom), but I did it anyway. It's my body... my life. (incidentally, 15 years after my first tattoo, my mom got her first tattoo. So you never know - maybe your mom would get into biking!! Crazier things have happened)

I suppose if I were your mom, and I was worried about what you were doing, it might make me feel better to hear how safe you plan to be - wearing gear, taking a safety course, having enough money for proper insurance, etc... If you're mature in your presentation, and you let her know that you care about how she feels, this might help her out a bit. In the end though, if she still isn't on board with the idea, you'll have to decide which way to go... spend your days waiting for the approval of others or living the life you feel you should.

I think it's sweet that you care enough about her feelings to ask for advice. Hopefully she can realize that you're old enough to make these decisions on your own. If it becomes nothing more than a struggle for control... I'm sorry but... is that the kind of adult life you'd want? Always answering to your mom?

Good luck to you. I hope that it all works out nice and smooth for you both. I realize that I will always have concerns and maybe even worries about the things my kids will do when they are grown, but in the end, if I've done my job well, they should be fully capable of making their own decisions - good or bad, it's their path to travel, not mine.

Cheers,
Loonette

[Loonette]

just get the bike and ride.

Its hard to convince a parent BEFORE getting the bike. Only way to prove that you can ride and not get yourself killed is to go out and ride.

This is always an option to. As they say, "it's better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

Cheers,
Loonette

[GiddyBOI]

I guess i made the decision of gettin one when i got my helmet...gloves...did my courses...and passed the closed track test....
The advice is much appreciated and will talk to mama about safety measures that will i be takin......but one thing is for sure guys....my recent addiction to riding has done me alot of good....kept me focused and motivated...and besides...riding with my school on the highways and hitting 100 km/h on cold rainy night...and being totally soaked.....wow............................what a feeling!
Family will have to understand i guesss .........

[Rebecca]

Your 20 tell her you don't need training wheels anymore, your moving up

[blues2cruise]

I am a bit over 50 and I just learned to ride last year. Even at my age, my Mom would have disapproved so I didn't tell her what I was doing until the day I showed up on my new bike with my new license.

Parents always worry no matter what you do. My mother even worries if I have to walk home from the bus stop at night.

[Dirtytoes]

Its hard to convince a parent BEFORE getting the bike. Only way to prove that you can ride and not get yourself killed is to go out and ride.

i'm 16 years old....almost 17..........that's exactly what i did.....

2 weeks ago, i bought a bike then surprised her with it......i was expecting her to start yelling and get mad but she was like "OMG, CONGRATS, IT's SO NICE....blah blah blah ".....turns out she's always wanted a bike also ever since she was a kid.........

i don't know about your relationship with your mom but my mom knows me as a very responsible person....i.e. i take care of myself, make my own money, pay for my own gas....you know, i take care of myself.......

if you ask her be4 buying, i guaratee you she'll say no, but if you buy it after, she'll have no choice but to say yes.

Good luck

[Kim]

Its hard to convince a parent BEFORE getting the bike. Only way to prove that you can ride and not get yourself killed is to go out and ride.

i'm 16 years old....almost 17..........that's exactly what i did.....

2 weeks ago, i bought a bike then surprised her with it......i was expecting her to start yelling and get mad but she was like "OMG, CONGRATS, IT's SO NICE....blah blah blah ".....turns out she's always wanted a bike also ever since she was a kid.........

i don't know about your relationship with your mom but my mom knows me as a very responsible person....i.e. i take care of myself, make my own money, pay for my own gas....you know, i take care of myself.......

if you ask her be4 buying, i guaratee you she'll say no, but if you buy it after, she'll have no choice but to say yes.

Good luck

But in your case, she would have had every right to make you get rid of it. Fortunately, you have a reasonable and understanding mom.

[Kim]

I assume you live with mom? If finances aren't an issue, maybe it's time to find your own place.

If it's only a safety concern, you are old enough to make that decision for yourself.