What would you do?

Message

mswarrior · Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:14 am

It's very simple, tell him your going to lend his bike out to your girlfriend who's only riden a scooter. I bet he freaks, and when he does you can mention that's how you felt when he lent yours out.

DarkDub64 · Thu Mar 31, 2005 8:21 am

IT's our bike, you should be the one that has the decision about who gets to ride your bike or not.[/i]

mswarrior · Thu Mar 31, 2005 11:30 am

Ouch!!

Mag7C · #14 Unread post by **Mag7C** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 6:20 pm

Take back the key. Then control my rage and have a talk.

Ladymx · #15 Unread post by **Ladymx** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:32 am

If its your bike, make the rules for it. If he's going to keep lending it out, take the key back.

Rebeccaatthewell · Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:30 pm

I think I would take the first opportunity to lend his bike to someone and then when he gets upset, tell him your sorry, you just assumed that he wouldn't care as he obviously dosen''t care about lending yours out.

But then, of course, I'm not married, so what do I know about keeping the peace

Becca

scan · #17 Unread post by **scan** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:07 pm

It depends on how the bike is yours. Did you literally buy the bike, or did he buy the bike for you? It depends on your relationship too. Is there respect for most things that belong to you?

In my house Loonette (my wife and TMW member) owns a bike. It was payed for with money from my job and the title had to be put in my name for the loan. That would seem to make it my bike, but Loonette works at home taking care of the house and the kids, so she works here and gets payed out of my money. Half of the goodys are hers (well, the kids get some too). We have two bikes, one is mine one is hers. I would never even ride her bike without her clearence. Nor would she ride mine.

Again, this is a respect issue. If he bought you the bike and now wants to act like it is his, then he is really letting you borrow his bike. Without saying the words, this behaviour shows he doesn't view it as yours or he would have been concerned about you and your feelings. If you bought the bike and he is using it without your permission, it isn't cool either, and you certainly could demand he respect your property.

I do know in some relationships though the man is the boss. If this is the case, you should let him do what he wants, since this is the life you signed on for when you agreed to marry him. If this is a true partnership, there should be mutual respect, and this taking your bike shouldn't be an issue.

ronboskz650sr · Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:45 pm

My son lives at home right now, and his two bikes sit right next to mine. It is my garage, and my house, but I still don't ride his bikes without him with me, and vice-versa. It is, indeed a respect issue.

If you are hesitant to confront him in a loving manner, put a lock on the bike, and keep the key to yourself. If he tries to lend it again, he'll probably bring the subject up, himself. Or he'll figure it out, and stop trying it. I still recommend the up-front approach if at all possible.

Goggles · #19 Unread post by **Goggles** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:02 pm

Be direct, but kind. Tell him you're uncomfortable with it, and ask him how he would feel if you loaned his bike to one of your friends.

Sarek · #20 Unread post by **Sarek** » Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:15 am

Thanks everyone for your replies. My husband doesn't ride and doesn't own a bike so I don't think he understands how important it is.
In our house he's the stay at home parent and I work to support us. He supported me in buying my bike but it's 100% mine. I think he just didn't realize it was bad judgement to loan out my bike. I hope that's the reason anyway. I have 2 other bikes that I store for a friend, he has permission to loan them to anyone he thinks fit to ride. Now he agrees not to loan out my bike and he'll let them ride the other bikes. I didn't take the key away. That would have caused a huge arguement. I'll see if he keeps his word. If he doesn't, I can always have a garage sale with his tools.