convincing parents motorcycling is okay?

[BigChickenStrips]

okay so heres the deal, Im 21, i live in my own place, i have a "real" job that paysfor my rent, all my bills, it has its own healthcare coverage, the only thing of mine my parents still pay for is my cell phone bill (like $10 a month). so in short, i suport myself. they are totally against me getting a motorcycle. i tried to show them that i was taking the safety course first, and getting a small motored bike to learn real life driving skills when the class is over. ( takign to heart the "this is your first bike, not your last" very good way to look at it). im also not interested in being a "stunter". i have a pretty high self-preservation instinct and im not going to try to do things above my skill level. i have also been bicycling on public roads (not just neighborhoods) for quite a while so im used to having to "play in traffic". anyone have any tips on helping put their minds at ease. i toldthem- i dont think that i'll never have a bike wreck, but if you are safe and smart when you ride, you can usually avoid some of the more serious wrecks.
my mom is still freaked out because when she was in college(many decades ago), walking to class, a guy was going (admittedly above the speed limit) through a yellow light and a cager was turning across traffic. the bike hit the cage and the guy riding flew over the car and landed at

my moms feet ( she said she felt liek she almost could have caught him) and he was out cold and a bunch of bystanders imediatly came over and started trying to yank his helmet off (think neck injuries). and so that is her idea of wht riding a motorcycle is all about. i explained that one of the 3 biggest dangers of riding a bike is people turnin across traffic, and if that guy was smart he shouldnt have been racing to beat the yellow light.

my dad has many friends whos midlife crisis was buying a $$$ harley and ridign it 3-4 times before deciding they didnt want it anymore. he just thnks i'll waste my money and loose interest. but i think hes less worried about the safety, i think he respects that i know my limits and dont really try to test them.

now that you all have a look into this, f you have any advice or statistics i can share witrh them. i KNOW motorcycles can be dangerous, but most things we do are dangerous to some degree. thanks for listening. ~Ryan

[Chris8187]

Well considering the event your mom went through, I doubt anything you show her will put your mind at ease. The only way to prove to them you will be safe with it is to buy the buy and actally be safe. Until then, your mom will still be afraid and you dad will think you will just waste money. You can change you dad's mind by not losing interest, but your mom is a different story.

[Meanie]

I agree with Chris. One step further, you have to think like a parent. It doesn't matter what evidence you provide to your mother, she witnessed a terrible accident and that image will haunt her forever. Even if she didn't witness something that traumatic, mothers still have the maternal instinct to protect their children. Therefore, your only option is to buy the bike and ride. In time, and I mean years, as you stay alive, she'll ease up. But I can guarantee, she'll still never be completely comfortable with it.

[dieziege]

Why the sales pitch? You won't convince them and you don't need to. Or...you shouldn't need to, given what you said.

[BikerBeagle]

Accidents happen ...and accidents on a bike are -usually- pretty serious. There is no way to convince your mom otherwise because the sad fact of the matter is that its true.

You could start by getting a relatively unassuming bike for your first ride ...a small standard, for example. It's not going to help your cause to get a sportbike or rather large cruiser that looks like it could get up to some considerable speed, especially stay away from the type of bike the guy was driving in the accident your mother witnessed (if you know or have an idea) ...she already relates it to an accident ..."people on *those* kind of motorcycles" kind of thing.

Also, avoid talking about the bike you are going to get because "it can go from 0-120 in 4.6 seconds". And, when you do finally get your bike, under no circumstances should you relate stories about the "dirty sob cager who pulled out in front of you" that day. Little things like that aren't going to help. On the other hand, when you do get your bike and if you do end up in an accident, prepare yourself for the kind of "I told you so" storm that few people have ever witnessed in the history of man-kind.

Another fact is, you are young and, like insurance agencies, people relate "young" to being, at best, inexperienced drivers/riders and, at worst, risk-takers with a sense of invincibility. Whether or not that is true in your particular case isn't even an issue. Remember, every parent who ever looks at their child sees the baby they had, not the grown person they've become. Unfortunately, I can't think of a single way around this.

Like Chris8187 said, I think your mom is going to be virtually unmovable in her belief, given that she has already witnessed an accident. I've seen one and the experience is hard to forget.

On your dad's side, however, let me give you a secret "dad" thing straight out the "dad handbook": We like to be involved in matters of finance, especially when it includes the purchasing of vehicles and, in your case, motorcycles. Maybe the best idea to win him over to your side is to simply get him involved in the purchase (not as a co-signer!) ...as a sort of consultant or advisor. He doesn't need to know anything about motorcycles, really ...although it would be your perfect chance to teach him. The object here is to show him that you have given the decision a lot of thought. Show him how you plan to budget for it. Get a list of 6 or more bikes you would like to buy, detail the specifications, and go over with him why one bike is better or worse than the others part by part. Take him with you when you go look at motorcycles. Just don't forget to ask him -often- "What do you think, dad?". The theory here is that he won't feel like you wasted your money in the first place (with his help, of course). On the other hand, if you do lose interest, then once again, prepare for the "I told you so" storm.

Another idea for your dad is to appeal to his frugal side (inherent in every dad). With the cost of gas these days, the gas mileage that can be achieved on a bike is a huge selling point.

The bottom line is, if you are paying for the bike, paying for the insurance and all the safety gear ...you are 21, a legal adult in every state of the union. Get the bike if that's what you want to do. Your parents will get over it and will, eventually, accept it ...provided you don't prove them right.

[Scoutmedic]

Pretty much what they said. I'm 35 and looking at getting my first motorcycle. My mother told me I wasn't allowed. Mind you I'm married, out of the house, we both work, etc, etc, etc. It's just parental instinct to protect their children. They may not like it but, you're an adult and can make your own decisions.

Try throwing this one at her (like I did). "I figured you'd say no to a motorcycle mom so, I'll give you a choice. I'm going to buy a motorcycle or one of those gyrocopter kits. Do you want me on the road or in the air?" "FINE, buy a f***ing motorcycle if you have to buy something dangerous that can get you killed!"

We all laughed about it afterwards. She still doesn't want me to get one but, she knows that I've taken the safety course and she knows my demeanor and she's as comfortable as she's going to get with me owning one.

[ejshotgun]

Yep, I think it's all been said. You seem like your taking all the correct precautions w/great attitude.
Just do it and be safe.
My Mom was totally against me getting a Bike and she would let me know from time to time but she understood that I was a man and did things that I wanted to do, after all didn't they teach me to stand on my own? And with your Mom being a witness to such a bad scene then you’re just going to have to do it if you really want it!
Dad reminds me from time to time about accidents he hears about or just reminds me about being safe and that's about it. Of course I don't talk about close calls w/Dad or my Girlfriend anymore.
With Dad it was easier because he rode when he was younger so he understood why I would want to Ride.


Ride On Bro!!!!!

[zarakand]

Same like everybody said. My mom and gf don't want to hear about it at all, and my dad even though he rode for 15 years till we moved to the States gets uncomfortable when I bring it up. On the bright side, be happy that your folks care for you

[Bubba]

BUY THE DAMN BIKE!

[Prechrysler]

Thank God you're of age, as you'll never convince your mom.