I have possession of the new pad already, and have got some of my crud moved over there, etc. and want my phone and power and such up and running before the end of the month.
So I'm sitting in the living room of the new place today, talking to Telus(like Ma Bell used be in the USA before de-regulation, ie:God) on my cell, trying to get a landline sorted out. I am talking to a person who I can barely understand and can not understand me at all. I can't even get this idiot to understand and repeat my name correctly(shouldn't the ability to at least understand English be a job requirement for these people?). I tryed to be patient and polite, but ended up hanging up and calling back to get someone else to talk to. 3, count 'em 3!!! people later, I get someone who I can at least communicate with.
I tell them what I want and give them the information to the new location. She tells me that the address doesn't exist. I tell her it does, I'm sitting in the place fer Christsakes. No, she is adamant that it does not.... the street ends about 8 house numbers down from the one I give her. So I go outside and look at my house number, the house next me and the next one to that. I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I can tell when a house is right in front of me and when it's not. But she says, nope, don't exist. I hang up again.
After a few minutes of deep breathing exercises, I call back. New person this time. Go through the whole thing again, and again, I'm sitting in a non-existent house. Me pounding on the walls doesn't convince him that there is a house around me. They have no record of this location in their 'very sophisticated' computer system(his exact words) and he assures me that it does not exist. O.K. then, why is there a phone jack in the wall? There isn't, I am told.
So I take the big leap. "I need to speak to your supervisor, please." I've tryed this before and know what's coming.....' Yes sir. A supervisor will call you back within 48 hrs.' I say 'No, I need to speak to one right now.' Not possible, that's not how it works.
Now I've been polite and kept my cool this entire time. But now I lose it. I unleash on this freakin' idiot with both barrels, but somehow, don't swear. I feel slightly better, but I still am no closer to a supervisor. Click.
I call back after half an hour. I get a new guy and explain the whole deal to him. This guy doesn't have an accent(first one that didn't). He says that something sure isn't adding up(no chit Sherlock) and I hear him clicking away on his computer. By some act of God, he can find the address. But he can't assign a phone number to it because they don't have any left for that area. This town has like 500 people in it, how can you not have a number to assign to it? Just don't, he says. But he can transfer me to another department that can sort this out(maybe they keep the people who can count in another building?). The lady there says she will work on it and call me back. 30 minutes later she does, and I have a new phone number.
Now, when would I like it to be hooked up? I tell her the date and she says O.K......but.... there is a fee(no kidding) and there may be more fees if they have to plant a pole and run a line. Well the pole is there, I've been throwing rocks at it for 2 hours and there is a line running from it to the house I tell her. Yes, but we don't know that, do we sir? You do now, I just told you there is, lady. You don't ride a GSXR-1000 by any chance do you?
So that's all straightened out, but I am still gonna give the supervisor what-for when he calls me........
Next, I call my satellite provider to get my service moved. THEY tell me that the town I am standing in doesn't exist....
God help me.........
