Confessions of a Commuter

[CNF2002]

Thursday
Miles: 6,550
Mood:

Confession #11- I sing to myself on my commute.

The first 'automobile' was invented somewhere around the end of the 19th century. Well, okay, the first workable prototype internal combustion automobile that is. It was a marvel of design, thought of no more as a trinket and a curiosity, and few gave it much more credit than that. Who knew that within a hundred years, every American would own at least one. I can think of just one important reason why the first automobile wasn't an instant success.

They didn't have a radio.

There are literally tens of thousands (perhaps hundreds of thousands) of different songs. We listen to music constantly; at work, in the car, at home, it plays in the background at retail stores and gas stations and...we just can't escape music.

So, it was only natural that after the excitement of hearing the engine revving wore down in me, I started to sing (for lack of a radio, of course).

But even after listening to so many songs over and over (thanks FM), I can't get through a single one without stumbling and forgetting the words.

Why, oh why, do the only songs that I can sing from start to finish have something to do with Christmas?

This motorcycle commuter has two options. After failing at some miserable popular song to; 1) make something up or 2) sing Christmas tunes.

Let's face it, Jingle Bells is a classic, not to mention its always funny Batman alternative.

If you never had enough reasons to buy a full-faced helmet, this is it. People will think you're crazy singing to yourself because they, like I, will assume that you do not have a radio and you are talking to yourself (or some etherial being) and some buck-toothed red-haired 'varmit' in a 1985 Ford F250 will feel it his obligation to splatter you out of society and serve you up at the local road-kill diner.

So to sum up, full-faced helmets save lives.

[NorthernPete]

glad to see I am not the only one.... dam you Byng Crosby!

[old-n-slow]

Well CNF2002, I haven't read all the blogs and I hadn't read yours until you posted on mine. Good reading or should I say good writing

You certainly have an interesting perspective on some subjects

The trouble with full face helmets is : Ya can't spit! and I find that chewing gum while wearing mine is an invite to chomp down on my cheek.. That don't feel so good. Talk about a momentary distraction ha ha.

Keep it up I'll be adding your B to my list of ones to watch.

[CNF2002]

Friday
Miles: 6,572
Mood:

Confession #12- I'm a mechanochondriac.

Why is it so difficult to drive the speed limit? I'm riding 65 in a 60mph zone, and yet still people are wizzing by me like I'm standing still. Is it me? Am I in the wrong? Should I be going 80mph so I can at best save 1 minute off my commute or at worst, be first at the stoplight so I can idle for an extra 20 seconds?

Why is it so difficult for people to understand that speeding gains them absolutely nothing? If you are travelling 20 miles to work, freeway only, and you are speeding at 75mph instead of 60, you just saved yourself 4 minutes. You also increased your chance of injury in a crash by 250%. That's perfect scenerio. Now lets include traffic slowing you below 75mph, lets include slowing to merge on/off the freeway, drive through residentials and commercial districts, and the time you sit at the stoplight. NOW how much time have you saved? You're lucky if you saved any time at all, but at maximum you can only save 4 minutes. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you saved 1 minute.

Good job, here's a cookie you idiot.

I'm mechanochondriac. Can't find it in the DSM? That's okay, I tried to submit it but the lack of a phd doesn't give me much authority in the psychological community.

A mechanochondriac is someone who perks their ears and listens to every...little...tiny...odd...noise that their vehicle makes and tries to diagnose it, readily concluding that there is something seriously wrong with the automobile (or in this case, motorcycle).

Stop laughing. Its a serious disorder. My bike has a clunk. It's an odd little clunk, it only happens every once and a while, but it happens when either I hit a bump or even if I kick up the kick-stand. Sounds like a metallic bounce...bounce bounce. I'm certain my transmission is going to fall out. I've checked, but find nothing loose. Oddly, the clunk only seems to happen when I'm backing out of my garage. No, I'm serious...I never hear it when I'm out commuting, from the grocery store, or leaving work. Only when I leave my own garage. I get home at midnight and leave at 7:30 am for work. The bike has been sitting for 8 (or so) hours. It clunks. I am at work for 8 hours, when I leave, it does not clunk. The bike is tormenting me!

And the odd rattle when I'm riding. Is it the transmission? Is it the engine about to run out of oil? Do I have an oil leak? Are my wheels falling off? Wait...its just my keys rattling on the bars.

Coincidentally, I am firmly convinced my wheels are about to fall off. I suppose at 65mph it could just be the wind slightly buffering me and making the bike feel wobbly but maybe...just maybe...my front tire is going to break free and start daring me to race it while performing a 'wheelie' on the freeway, much to the amusement and bewilderment of the caged spectators, who would be perfectly capable of avoiding me as I fell down and slid under their vehicle if they weren't frozen with shock.

Why do mechanics have to be so expensive? I need one to follow me 24/7. Obviously something is wrong with my bike, it's not all in my head, it's not. I'm not crazy...I'm a pink fluffy hamster...wait no, I'm not crazy.

Note to readers: If you hadn't figured out the symbolism, the yellow guy on the boat represents my sanity.

[camthepyro]

Haha, I see the same thing everyday while commuting. I usually go at least 5mph over the speed limit, and people always go shooting past me and around me, just so I can stop behind them at the next stop light. I had a guy do this to me all day yesterday, the whole ride home, he'd speed past me, attempt to change lanes and such to get ahead, and every couple of stop lights, there he would be, right next to me. Out of my hour and a half, I was near him for abou 45 minutes, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how dangerously he drove, he couldn't get ahead.

Oh, and I also get nervous about my front wheel falling off.

[fireguzzi]

Maybe a little safety wire would ease your mind.

Either that or some valium. Just kidding

[dieziege]

4 minutes
2 times a day
200 times a year
--------------------
26 hours a year

How much is your time worth?

[Phaedrus]

Pick up a cup on the way. I partially unzip the tank bag and slide it in there proped with extra books and gloves etc. The cup stays still and warm the last mile coffee shop to work. Trick is to get a piece of saran wrap from the barrista, they have a roll under the counter for the cookies and such. Trust me. Take the lid off and cover the cup, PRESS MIDDLE OF WRAP DOWN WITH FINGER, and replace cap. No leaks. If you don't push a finger into saran wrap, air underneath will expand, popping the lid off. Don't ask. When coffee person offers to give you a little sticky thing to plug the sipping hole instead of saran wrap, insist on the saran wrap. the sticky things don't work, and a hot coffee siphoning into your lap at 60 mph is exciting and the stain becomes subject of co-worker conversation all day.

[CNF2002]

Tuesday
Miles: 6,612
Mood:

Confession #13- I love cutting people off in road-rage maniacal attacks.

Commuting and the Internet have a lot in common. For one, you really are interpreting a lot of information while lacking important cues that allow you to accurately read the situation. That's not uncommon on the internet. Why else do you think the Smilie was invented? There were just far too many misunderstandings (lack of inflection, loss of body language) that led to disasters when someone would come into the conversation and say something sarcastic.

Did you know that I just love to cut people off? That's right! I have an evil streak in me, and just for the fun of it, I wildly cross lanes in an attempt to infuriate the guy behind me. Then I laugh about it.

Or so the Plymouth Van (yes, it was that old) would assume. Now truth be told, I would not have cut this person off if he, upon seeing my blinker, did not slam on the gas to close in on the 12-car gap between us to a 1-car gap once I had made my lane change. But that's water under the bridge.

Sorry Mr. Van.

What we need are huge electronic displays on the back of our vehicles that show smilies. What we need, instead of a third brake light, is an emoticon! Now keep in mind, what we do not need is anything that displays text. The last thing the morning commute needs is for people to actually be able to textualize (note new word for future use) what they are really muttering (or yelling) to themselves along the drive. Everyone will just be ramming everyone else. Insurance rates will go up. Just not good.

No, what we need are just great big smilies. And we'll need to invent some new ones to represent driving-specific emotions, like "I'm late!" and "I'm a stupid moron who can't drive!" and "I'm on the cellphone!".

What we really need however is a nice big smiling face to apologize when you accidentally cut someone off or otherwise offend them in traffic. It sure would help cool a lot of folks down. Then again, others are just so brain-dead and self-centered that they would happily endanger their own lives and yours in order to, what they see as, dominate the roadway.

I picture what goes on in their heads as they dart around traffic. They see themselves much like Superman, in tight pants and a flying cape as they fly in and out of danger.

Fortunately, there are enough reasonably decent and attentive drivers on the road to avoid those people and allow some of us to survive the trip.

[imorgan202]

Toyota and Sony already did that back in 2001 with a concept called "Pod" which could detect emotion, and ran colors throughout the outside of the vehicle to show it--kinda like a mood ring.



Good concept though.

Ian