You Might be a Squid If...

[The Grinch]

You might be a SQUID if:

You ride wearing cut-offs, sandals, and a mesh tank top.
You have any "NO FEAR" decals on your motorcycle.
You think that a wheelie is the mark of a skilled rider.
You ride around with your $500 SHOEI bungie netted to your rear seat.
You drag your brand new $300 AGV boots in order to simulate years of hard cornering use just so you can brag about your 'years' of hard cornering use.
Your idea of head protection is a do-rag bandanna and a pair of Oakley
Blades.
You think that burnouts impress the chicks.
If you ever high sided a passenger.
You're only riding your CBR600F2 until you get your Harley put back
together.
You never get your bike out of second gear in the city.
Your rear brake pads aren't even scuffed.
You ever installed a fender eliminator kit.
You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R.
You ride a Suzuki Katana (any size, the bigger the SQUIDer)
You've ever low sided a dealer demo unit that was parked inside a
showroom.
Your friends won't ride with you anymore.
You brag about your many wrecks.
You don't know what a SQUID is.
You ever high-sided from a intentional stoppie.
Everytime you get a new scratch on your fairing, you get a new decal to cover it up.
YOU think that you're cool.
You ever fell off while doing a wheelie.
You had your nickname painted, taped, or etched anywhere on your helmet, leathers, or bike.
Only you know what your personalized tag means.
Your insurance agent refuses to return your phone calls.
You stand up on your pegs while riding.
You ever bought any dress-up items for your bike from J.C. Whitney & Co.
You tailgate ANYONE!
Your chain ever rusted to the point of having to be replaced.
You ever raced a scooter with your sportbike ... and LOST!
You wear a cheap helmet.
You drilled holes in your fairing to try to reduce weight or increase
handling.
You polished your frame.
Your bike has braided hoses and brake lines.
Your street bike is safety wired.
You've got a K&N decal, but not the filter.
You ever tried to make your bike backfire.
You ever snapped off a foot peg by standing on it.
You run stop signs out of habit.
You have colored bar end weights, hand grips, or engine case bolts.
You believe EVERYTHING that you read in motorcycle magazines.
You wheelie between lights in traffic to impress car and truck drivers.
You've ever knocked your bike over by leaning up against it when it was parked.
You swear that your factory stock Seca II will do 160mph on the top end.
You ever wrecked while trying to impress chicks.
You consider rolling stops to be perfectly legal.
Your street bike has a steering dampener.
You never broke in your new bike's engine properly.
You ride a sportbike and wear a half helmet with flight goggles.
Your new colored windscreen matches your Oakely Blades perfectly.
You've ever high-sided in your own driveway.
You ever tried to do something on the street that you saw in a TV action series.
You ever let someone patch your performance radial tire with a plug.
Your rear tire is bald in the center but still has lots of tread on each
side.
Your street bike has a wheelie bar.
You let anyone who doesn't have a motorcycle of their own ride yours.
More than half of your bike's original plastic has been replaced by
carbon fiber parts.
You own a carbon fiber keyfob.
Your knee pucks have comical faces.
You're riding a sportbike but only until you get your Harley out of the
shop.
You high rev your cold engine after cranking.
You ride without insurance or a license endorsement.
You only race against smaller displacement bikes.
You've ever bought cheap tires.
You rev your engine to impress others.
You let complete strangers ride your bike.
You ever split lanes with traffic where it wasn't legal to do so.
You think carbon fiber is IT!
You've never oil your chain.
You're still using the factory pre-set suspension settings.
Your bike alarm makes annoying sounds when activated.
You constantly open and close your throttle at a stop light just to see
the tach needle jump.
You paid someone $400 to airbrush your $175 helmet.
Your bike alarm talks.
You like to demonstrate your annoying bike alarm every chance you get.
You ever took off so quick that your passenger rolled off the back!
You NEVER look over your shoulder when you change lanes.
You've ever left your bike running while you went into a convenience
store and it was gone when you came back out.
You think neon is cool.
You don't know HOW to adjust your adjustable suspension.
You carry a color matched wheel or disc lock but never use it!
You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker).
You replace your clutch once a year.
Your sportbike has a cruise control.
You don't use turn signals in traffic.
You pin-striped your sportbike.
You Armor-All(tm) your tires before riding.
Your bike has more than two mirrors.
You've ever drained your battery due to Neon overload.
You buy cheap tires in order to have enough money to buy a new Shoei helmet.
You sent your wheels off to get chromed.
You rode fast in a hard rain.
You removed your mirrors to lower drag and try to increase top speed.
You have a little air foil spoiler on the rear of your bike.
You cover your bike in aftermarket parts decals but don't own any of the parts!
You put additional reflectors on your bike.
You ever mounted auxiliary driving lights on your front fork.
You use cheap oil.
You ever had an accident because you were checking your image in the side view mirrors.
You don't acknowledge other riders when they wave or nod.
You use fuel additives or octane boosters in your street bike.
You ever woke up in the hospital after doing something that you thought would impress people.
You've ever had to have emergency surgery to remove a aftermarket
accessory that you installed on your sportbike.
Chicks won't ride with you.
You thread traffic to impress people!
You run at highway speeds on city streets.
You admire yourself in shop windows when you ride by on the street.
You ever had an accident because your bungie net load shifted on you.
Your tag has a bracket with a humorous message engraved on it.
You ride around with screwdrivers or other sharp objects in your back
pockets.
Your bike is plastered with aftermarket decal conversion kits. (Troy Lee
Designs).
You walk around the mall in full race leathers.
When you ride with others, YOU always have to be in front.
Any of your personal bike experiences are merely products of your
imagination.
You ever repainted your bike an annoying color.
You really want other riders to like you and your bike.

[Skier]

I'll simplify that list for you:

"If you ride a motorcycle."

[Jamers!]

You might be a SQUID if:


You ride a Suzuki Katana (any size, the bigger the SQUIDer)

what exactly is the problem with the katanas?



JWF

[DragonSlayer]

You thought about putting a sidecar on your GSX-R.

I'd love to see that

[camthepyro]

So basically, if you ride a motorcycle, you're a squid?

[-Holiday]

You might be a SQUID if:

you have 186 reasons to call someone a SQUID.

[Jamers!]

You might be a SQUID if:

you have 186 reasons to call someone a SQUID.

of you might have a lot of free time if you sat and counted every one :-p



JWF

[desper]

You use cheap gas ( 90 octane or weaker)

hmm.. I'd have to say the opposite is true... if you don't understand how octane works and put the highest octane fuel in your bike 'cause you think it'll make it go faster, you are likely a 'squid'

[yoda731]

How about this one...

...if you bought your used metric bike at the Harley dealership.

[JCS]

Let's see. Where to start...

I have seen some sport bikes with sidecars. Properly set up with the right suspension, tires, brakes, gearing, and the right sidecar these can be pretty cool. Some will flat haul a$$, too.

My insurance agent loves me. Van, 2 cars, 4 bikes, trailer and house. I'm putting his kids through school for him.

I have been known to stand up on the pegs when riding. Mostly to stretch. I tour with the bikes, too. Learned to do this while riding dirt bikes years ago. Not an issue.

My bike has braided brake lines. All the rest will soon.

There is safety wire in a couple of places. I always carry some on trips, too.

Got the K&N's on 2 of the bikes. No stickers.

One bike has colored engine case bolts, to go with the blue frame.

All my bikes have a cruise control. Including the sport bikes. I sometimes go farther than around the block.

I have been known to exceed the speed limit in a hard rain. Usually by not more than 30 mph though.

I want some aux lighting.

If I am in my leathers, I will go wherever I want/need to go. I have shown up to business meetings wearing my leathers. My wife and daughters have been known to do the same thing. My wife does hospital crisis counseling and sometimes shows up at the hospital in her leathers carrying her full face Shoei.

We also have been known to use the bikes as pack mules. Everything from a weeks worth of groceries, a 120 year old violin, printers, a computer (not a laptop), camping gear, etc.

Did I have enough to qualify as a squid? Just want to make sure. I may have to try harder.