1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and idiot's.
10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
13. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
14. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
15. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
16. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
17. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
Things to ponder
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sunshine229
- Moderator
- Posts: 1846
- Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 12:02 pm
- Real Name: Andrea aka Mrs. Total Motorcycle
- Sex: Female
- Years Riding: 14
- My Motorcycle: 2013 Moto Guzzi V7 Stone
- Location: Waterloo, ON
Things to ponder
Andrea 
-
Skier
- Site Supporter - Platinum
- Posts: 2242
- Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2004 10:44 am
- Sex: Male
- Location: Pullman, WA, USA
Re: Things to ponder
sunshine229 wrote:10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
It's so great... [url=http://www.motoblag.com/blag/]Practicing the dark and forgotten art of using turn signals since '98.[/url]
Re: Things to ponder
sunshine229 wrote:
17. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
I accept my own life as a blessing and a gift
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QuietMonkey
- Legendary 750
- Posts: 913
- Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:11 pm
- Sex: Male
- Location: Okanagan Valley, BC
5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and idiot's.
THOSE TWO KILLED ME... especially having been listening to friend's who have been divorced... yikes.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and idiot's.
THOSE TWO KILLED ME... especially having been listening to friend's who have been divorced... yikes.
"Zounds! Zorched by Zarches, Spaceman Spiff's crippled craft crashes on planet Plootarg!"
For Sale: Ninja 600 with parts bike, needs minor work, $30, no title... (GEE THAT DOESNT RING ANY WARNING BELLS DOES IT?)
For Sale: Ninja 600 with parts bike, needs minor work, $30, no title... (GEE THAT DOESNT RING ANY WARNING BELLS DOES IT?)
