Voodoo pencil

[SuperRookie]

Voodoo pencil

A businessman was getting ready to go on a
long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an
extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.


He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We
have vibrating pencils, special attachments, and so on, but I
don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---"
and he stopped.




"Except what?" the man asked.

"Nothing, nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need something!"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo pencil."
"So what's up with this Voodoo pencil?" he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a
very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic
images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking pencil. The
businessman laughed, and said, "Big damn deal. It looks like every other pencil in this shop!"

The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo pencil, the door.
The Voodoo pencil miraculously rose out of its box, darted
over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The
whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.

Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo pencil,
return to box!" The Voodoo pencil stopped, levitated back
to the box and lay there quiet once more.

"I'll take it!" said the businessman.
The guy took it home to his wife, told her
it was a special pencil and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo pencil, my crotch." After he'd been gone a few days, the wife
was unbearably horns and remembered the Voodoo pencil. She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo pencil, my crotch!"

The Voodoo pencil shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
After three mind- shattering organs, she became very exhausted
and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was
stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing
worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.


Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if
theycould help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and
started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the pencil.
On the way, another incredibly intense fun made her swerve all over the road.

A police officer saw this and immediately
pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much
she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I
haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this VoodooPenis
thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me!"

The officer looked at her for a second, shook
his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo pencil,
my "O Ring"."


The rest is history...

[Dirtytoes]

too much to read.....for me.

[Sev]

Yikes.

[DivideOverflow]

haha funny

[Stratus311]

Yowzers!!

[NorthernPete]

*LOL* I heard that one a while back..... Not exactly family oriented, Im suprised it hasnt had anyone up in arms yet..

[SuperRookie]

*LOL* I heard that one a while back..... Not exactly family oriented, Im suprised it hasnt had anyone up in arms yet..

I figure we're all adults here and it is, uh...shall we say 'borderline'? It's funny tho...

[NorthernPete]

definately funny......