Soccor mom vs. V-Star...A satire

[xsyamahadg]

I was cruising the great street State Street in my home town when I caught a red light. As I sat there, a soccor mom in a Town & Country mini van with three kids all drinking slurpies pulled along side me in the left lane. I knew I was in trouble when a half empty slurpie crashed to the ground by my left foot. So when the light changed, I was determined to get away from this moving zoo, I launched away from the light in a cloud of tire smoke, valve clatter and an exhaust note that could be heard all the way to Walmart. When the front tire came back down, I banged second gear, but she was right beside me drinking a slurpie and talking on the cel phone. One of the kids was mooning me out the side window. Third gear and I had the wick on the V-Star turned full on. but she was still there, putting a slap attack on the little mooner. Fourth gear found us well involved and over the limit, but she was still there putting on lipstick and talking on the cel phone. Fifth gear and the telephone poles are going by like picket fences, but she is still there. We were heading towards the city limits and the soccor field, at that moment I realized she needs to be in my lane to make a right turn into the soccor field...I figured I'm dead meat !! I saw her turn signal out of the corner of my eye, so I went into my best racers tuck and prayed to Mamma Yama for 200 more RPM. Too late, she nailed the brakes, whipped in behind me just missing my tail light and slid into the entrance to the field. There were kids screaming, dust was flying and slurpies everywhere. I was told later, this is her normal entrance, so no one was alarmed. I swear a slurpie grazed my helmet like a bullet from behind. As I went past the city limit sign, I chanced a look back, she had her hand in the air giving me the long finger. I assumed from that, she thinks I'm number one. XS

[spinner]

Those soccer mom's are dangerous! They will turn you into a bumper sticker if you aren't careful! And they always seem to drive those minivans as if they had 300hp. You have to expect them to since they are always late because little jimmy wanted mommy to stop at 711 for a cookie and a slurpy even though they were 10 minutes late to practice. And motorcycles?... what are they? ... Do humans ride on those?

I chanced a look back, she had her hand in the air giving me the long finger.

I would've turned around right there and followed her to the field. I'd be sure to make a scene.