overcoming fear of bike

[ninja_nate]

Now that I'm seriously considering getting a bike (even just a smaller 250-500 cc first bike), I've been faced with a lot of attitudinal opposition. Granted, everyone is looking out for my safety, especially my wife, parents, etc. But I'm not going into biking for the thrill, speed, racing, etc. I want a good bike I can enjoy, take care of, and ride so that I can save gas costs.

Is it that people just have a general fear of being on a bike? I'd be the only one in my family and friends that would have one, and one of the reasons I haven't pursued this earlier is because of those attitudes. I want a bike, I know I could be cautious enough on a bike (sure, we all say that). But what about other people's influence and attitudes?

Surely someone else has had the same struggle that I'm going through? If you have, please help me out. How do you convince people that what you're doing is not just a careless "thrill ride"? Especially with the stats against riding a bike not in our favor!

Thanks again for the help. Any is appreciated.

[Brackstone]

Fear is healthy as long as it does not paralyze you.

Life is too short to wonder about what other people think really. But if anyone threatens to disown or divorce you over your bike that is something youh ave to consider for yourself.

[Thumper]

I think the best you can do to ease other peoples' fears of riding is to show as much common sense as you can in your approach to it. Take the MSF basic rider's class, read books on riding safety, wear ALL the gear all the time--full face helmet, jacket, gloves, riding pants and boots. Pick up a DVD like Ride Like A Pro and use it to back up your MSF training.

If the people who love you see you're approaching it with personal safety in mind, they might not balk so much. They'll still be afraid for you, and not without merit. Riding is risky; unlike in a car, you're exposed to everything around you, and in a car vs. bike matchup, the bike almost always loses. If you work hard at building your skills and awareness levels, you lower your risk. You don't eliminate it, but you have better control over what happens while you're on the bike.

I didn't have opposition from the Spouse Thingy, but my parents think I'm nuts. No one tried to talk me out of it (they know better) but I did make sure they understood I wasn't just going to hop on the back of a bike and ride; I would take the class, read, do everything I could to stay safe (and admittedly, when I did go down, I did not tell them...I wasn't hurt, so no reason to scare them.)

Keep in mind, too, that unless you sell your car, you're not really going to save any money by buying and riding a bike. You still have the car and the cost to insure it, and then you're adding on top of that the cost of the bike, insurance, and maintenance. If it's an excuse to learn to ride and buy a bike... it's a good excuse.

[ninja_nate]

Thanks for the advice so far! It's been helpful.

I think I've tried to approach this the right way. I've always wanted a bike, but it kept getting pushed to the side. Now I've upped the intent a bit, and it's thrown everything else off the rocker. I plan to take the permit written test here in a week or so, then sign up for the MSF course. If I decide, after playing around on a bike, that it's still in my blood, I'll seriously start searching for a bike.

About keeping my truck. I love the truck, but it's too expensive to insure and to fill up with gas, especially as much driving as I do for grad school and work. So yeah, I've thought about getting rid of it. But that brings up the issue of what to ride while it's freezing cold, downpouring, snowing/sleeting, extremely windy, etc. A big argument against me getting the bike is that I'd still need a vehicle to drive on bad days. A decidion I know I'm going to have to seriously confront one of these days.

Insurance on bike = 300 or less/year
Insurance on truck = 1200 or more/year

Wow!

[Gurgus]

Your always gonna get the people with the "Motorcycles raped my Father and killed my Mother!" attitude. This kept me from getting a bike when I was a kid. My mom stopped my dad from buying me the dirtbike I wanted when I was twelve. I still haven't forgiven her for that. Now that I'm a grown-up of 33, she couldn't stop me anymore. The wife gave me the go ahead and I finally got into it this year.

Do what you want, full speed ahead and damn the torpedos. The people that love you will still love you, motorcycle or not. Do you want to be 90 years old and going "Damn, I really regret not getting a motorbike when I was young."? I know I don't.

Now all my regrets can be about women instead .

[Flesher]

I think that first off you need to honest with yourself about why you want to get a bike, then leverage that honesty to convey those reasons to those you feel you must.

I am not saying that you are not being honest, but if you are not for whatever reason, they will see right through you, and will only grow more suspicious of your motives.

Motorcycling is like living in a big city. If you don't live in one then your perception of it's danger is exaggerated. The news is full of bad things happening in the big cities, but if you live in one you get to know how to decrease the risks of living there.

You've just informed your family that you want to move to the big city, now say the things you need to say about why you need to do this, and why it's important to you (and possibly them), how you will mitigate the risks, and realize this is something scary to them.

One last thing, if financially it isn't the right time, then you may have to resign yourself to wait. It sucks, but many of us waited a long time to get back to riding for the same reasons.

[matthew5656]

Motorcycling is like living in a big city. If you don't live in one then your perception of it's danger is exaggerated. The news is full of bad things happening in the big cities, but if you live in one you get to know how to decrease the risks of living there.

Cool analogy

I'll take a wild guess that almost every rider has put up with their share of irrational opposition before they finally took the course, bought a bike and helmet, and gradually took some initiative. Your family's simply attempting to persuade you from tumbling down the rabbit hole, just as mine did. But once I began making calls to private owners, passed the BRC course, and bought a jacket and helmet, everyone finally shut up.

This is your last chance foreman, after this there is no turning back. If you take the blue pill, the story ends and you wake up to believe whatever you want to believe. But if you take the red pill, you'll stay in wonderland, and we show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.......But remember, all that TMW offers is the truth, and nothing more.

[the_sandman_454]

You could just do like I did, and just tell all the nay-sayers in your life precisely where they could stick their so-called advice. Especially since none of them really have anything in the way of experience one way or the other with bikes, at least in my case. Everything they know is hearsay. Then again, that strategy may not go over particularly well.

You should be fine with BRC, decent gear, and good visual scanning abilities. Your mileage may vary of course.

[roncg41677]

I've faced a lot of opposition from my wife because out of the 10 or so bikers we know, 9 or 10 have had serious accidents on their bikes, most of which weren't their fault. One guy I know of is named "One-Legged Dick", and he rides a trike now. None of this is very encouraging to my wife, especially with 2 small kids.

I've told her we have no idea if ANY of these riders took any kind of a training course, which I have, and I have made my purposes clear to her. It's not for joy-riding, it's for commuting. We've agreed on some practical guidelines (since it will be my first bike). No riding in the rain, or at night as I'm just beginning. I'm fine with that until I gain some confidence.

See if something similar might work for you. Some practical starting rules that will help her feel comfortable. Good luck!

[MZ33]

almost every rider has put up with their share of irrational opposition

It's not all irrational. Most of it is quite rational. Are you a perfect driver? (Me neither.) If not, then your risk goes up. If you are, you still have risk. You can do everything right and then some, and still get nailed. Badly.

Know the risk. Really know it. Be honest with yourself and others. If you have little kids, at least have a good life insurance policy. I mean it. Don't be ignorant of what could happen and who will be hurt by the results of your choices. Having said that, understand that their emotions are theirs, and yours are yours. You can't help them feel differently. They have to decide how to live with it. We all fear pain, and fear losing the ones we love. My husband got me into this, and we each have to live with the fact that this hobby could hurt either or both of us.

There are worse things than dying. Not living is one of them.

My 2 cents. Hope it helps.