I don't know if any of you out there would know who Dan Rosen was, but he was the founder of Rosen's Rides (http://www.rosensrides.com/), and was killed in a freak accident on a bike in 2000. Something hit his head and broke his neck in several places..
His daughter was riding tandem when it happened. His daughter was my girlfriend's long time best friend (she even moved in with her for a while after it happened), and now she's started to get really worried with me wanting to learn to ride because of this.
I've tried to tell her that something like that could happen to anyone, anywhere (heck, a great driver was killed when an suv landed on top of his truck here), but she's still not excited about it.
I don't really even know what I posted this. I know the risks involved and want to take the proper safety steps, but when she told me about Dan it shook me a bit. I guess I'm just looking for some support that I'm making the right choice.
My GF and Dan Rosen...
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AmericanWeiner
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Unlikely events can be very dramatic and also widely publicized. The attention in the media and the spread of stories makes these odd occurances seem more prevalant than they really are. When it strikes someone close to you it really has an impact. The impact on your girlfreind should be seriously considered.
That said, you can't live life completely free of risk. The trick is to manage that risk. It sounds like that is just what you are doing. However, You mention that you were "shook" by the tragic story. If you are afraid of a task you will not likely perform well. You certainly need to respect an activity as serious as riding, but fear can get in the way. Hopefully you are not that shook up.
Consider that your girlfreind may be worried beyond belief every time you get on a bike. She just can't shake the memory of her freind's dad. It will probably take a long time for logic to start to sway her mind on this issue. I know a number of tragic flying stories - some pilots get right back in the cockpit after a crash and other never fly again. The ones that fly again often speak of their passion for flight.
I know that I'm not offering any solutions here and you have probably had these thoughts already. I hope your decision works out great for you.
That said, you can't live life completely free of risk. The trick is to manage that risk. It sounds like that is just what you are doing. However, You mention that you were "shook" by the tragic story. If you are afraid of a task you will not likely perform well. You certainly need to respect an activity as serious as riding, but fear can get in the way. Hopefully you are not that shook up.
Consider that your girlfreind may be worried beyond belief every time you get on a bike. She just can't shake the memory of her freind's dad. It will probably take a long time for logic to start to sway her mind on this issue. I know a number of tragic flying stories - some pilots get right back in the cockpit after a crash and other never fly again. The ones that fly again often speak of their passion for flight.
I know that I'm not offering any solutions here and you have probably had these thoughts already. I hope your decision works out great for you.
2009 Suzuki DL650A V-Strom (aka Wee-Strom)
1985 Honda VT500C Shadow
1982 Honda CM200T Twinstar
1985 Honda VT500C Shadow
1982 Honda CM200T Twinstar
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Sev
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This is going to sound stupid. But I could never date someone who smokes. I can't stand it, to be honest it just scares the hell out of me. I've seen firsthand the effects of cigarrettes on a person. And I couldn't allow myself to be close to someone who would do that to themselves. I couldn't stand to watch them die because of it.
I realize it doesn't seem like this has a lot of relevance. But the truth is your relationship is at a turning point. This is a decision you're going to have to make together. Can she stand to see you out there on a bike and still be with you? Or could you stand to never ride a bike and keep her?
I'll be honest, I cannot imagine giving up biking for anything. But at the same time, I couldn't condone my significant other smoking. The two of you have to decide if you can still stay together if you get a bike. And you have to decide if it would be worth it to potentially loose her for a hunk of shaped steel.
No one can tell you what the right answer is, you guys need to figure it out between the two of you.
I realize it doesn't seem like this has a lot of relevance. But the truth is your relationship is at a turning point. This is a decision you're going to have to make together. Can she stand to see you out there on a bike and still be with you? Or could you stand to never ride a bike and keep her?
I'll be honest, I cannot imagine giving up biking for anything. But at the same time, I couldn't condone my significant other smoking. The two of you have to decide if you can still stay together if you get a bike. And you have to decide if it would be worth it to potentially loose her for a hunk of shaped steel.
No one can tell you what the right answer is, you guys need to figure it out between the two of you.
Of course I'm generalizing from a single example here, but everyone does that. At least I do.
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emperorjordan
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Very well put. Its right on, and funny because thats how I feel about going out with a smoker. Excellent post!Sevulturus wrote:This is going to sound stupid. But I could never date someone who smokes. I can't stand it, to be honest it just scares the hell out of me. I've seen firsthand the effects of cigarrettes on a person. And I couldn't allow myself to be close to someone who would do that to themselves. I couldn't stand to watch them die because of it.
I realize it doesn't seem like this has a lot of relevance. But the truth is your relationship is at a turning point. This is a decision you're going to have to make together. Can she stand to see you out there on a bike and still be with you? Or could you stand to never ride a bike and keep her?
I'll be honest, I cannot imagine giving up biking for anything. But at the same time, I couldn't condone my significant other smoking. The two of you have to decide if you can still stay together if you get a bike. And you have to decide if it would be worth it to potentially loose her for a hunk of shaped steel.
No one can tell you what the right answer is, you guys need to figure it out between the two of you.
-2005 Suzuki DRZ-400S (The Fast Color).
- FMF Power Core 4
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car
- FMF Power Core 4
- 3x3" Air Box Mod, DynoJet Kit
- Dunlop D606 Tires
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car
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Loonette
- Site Supporter - Platinum
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- Real Name: Kristin
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I had already been married for 15 years before I finally took up biking. I had talked about it for a long time, but I don't think my husband ever thought it would become a reality. He was at first highly opposed to the idea for his own reasons (mostly safety related). I convinced him to take the MFS course on his own to see what it's like. He is now more hooked on biking than I am.
Had he not taken the course and started riding as well, I'm not really sure where we'd be today. I might be riding with him sitting home in a pool of resentment and worry. Or we may have split up if it got too rough between us. No matter - I just couldn't see myself not pursuing something that I desire because of someone else's fears. And we have kids too! Like Sev said, you have to first figure out what you're each willing to deal with, and then go from there. Good luck - let us know how it's going.
Cheers,
Loonette
Had he not taken the course and started riding as well, I'm not really sure where we'd be today. I might be riding with him sitting home in a pool of resentment and worry. Or we may have split up if it got too rough between us. No matter - I just couldn't see myself not pursuing something that I desire because of someone else's fears. And we have kids too! Like Sev said, you have to first figure out what you're each willing to deal with, and then go from there. Good luck - let us know how it's going.
Cheers,
Loonette
FIRST RESPONDERS DO IT WITH LIGHTS AND SIRENS!! 
Find 'em hot, leave 'em wet...
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2006 Mean Streak 1600
Find 'em hot, leave 'em wet...
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2006 Mean Streak 1600
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AmericanWeiner
- Veteran
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Ok...a few replies-
We've only been together for a year-ish, and I don't think she's going to give me more trouble about it than the rest of my family, and hopefully, they'll all come to terms with it (even if they don't like it). If she doesn't (and she'd probably be the only one that would have any sway), I'd drop it before I dropped her (because I haven't even started biking, yet)
To the posts about me being scared- it wasn't so much that the story shook my desire to ride as it shook my feelings and my heart. Everyone's got a story or two of people getting killed on a bike or quad, but his was especially tragic in that his daughter (who would have been about 13, I think) was with him; like something you would expect to see in a movie, not in real life.
To the above- I would love if my girlfriend decided to try it to clear her fear of them, but I really, really don't think it's going to happen, and I'm trying to avoid bothering her with anything to do with bikes. Luckily, I've got a few friends that are willing to learn with me, so I've got a few people to talk to about it (because I have got that m/c itch!).
We've only been together for a year-ish, and I don't think she's going to give me more trouble about it than the rest of my family, and hopefully, they'll all come to terms with it (even if they don't like it). If she doesn't (and she'd probably be the only one that would have any sway), I'd drop it before I dropped her (because I haven't even started biking, yet)
To the posts about me being scared- it wasn't so much that the story shook my desire to ride as it shook my feelings and my heart. Everyone's got a story or two of people getting killed on a bike or quad, but his was especially tragic in that his daughter (who would have been about 13, I think) was with him; like something you would expect to see in a movie, not in real life.
To the above- I would love if my girlfriend decided to try it to clear her fear of them, but I really, really don't think it's going to happen, and I'm trying to avoid bothering her with anything to do with bikes. Luckily, I've got a few friends that are willing to learn with me, so I've got a few people to talk to about it (because I have got that m/c itch!).