Euro-English

[Cristi Dragan]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

[fireguzzi]

[totalmotorcycle]

That's funny! Amazing you can read it just fine all the way to the bottom.

Mike

[Wrider]

Haha nice

[sunshine229]

Absolutely brilliant!

I will use that story as my first German lesson. Second lesson = how to drink lots of beer and eat bratwurst!

[Wrider]

Absolutely brilliant!

I will use that story as my first German lesson. Second lesson = how to drink lots of beer and eat bratwurst!

All you need to do is go visit Gummi, he's got the beer and good food part down pat. But he speaks that weird Cyrillic based language... lol

[Hondagirl]

too funny........ and crazy
(agree with the ridiculous silent e)

[sunshine229]

Absolutely brilliant!

I will use that story as my first German lesson. Second lesson = how to drink lots of beer and eat bratwurst!

All you need to do is go visit Gummi, he's got the beer and good food part down pat. But he speaks that weird Cyrillic based language... lol

I've got a better idea... why don't you all come here and we'll take a side trip to Germany to learn it first-hand!

[Gummiente]

But he speaks that weird Cyrillic based language... lol

Nein, ich kann nicht Russen sprechen, ich kan nur Deutsches und Englisch sprechen.

[Gummiente]

I will use that story as my first German lesson. Second lesson = how to drink lots of beer and eat bratwurst!

Your priorites are not in proper order, M'lady. Trust me on this one.