if you had a million dollars

[NorthernPete]

I belong to another forum and one of the members there (Animesux, credit to her on it) put this up last night. Made me chuckle - NorthernPete

I often listen to “If I Had A Million Dollars” by the Barenaked Ladies, and I laugh about how times have changed and inflation has "messed" up their song, so this evening I figured I’d actually look into this. 

If I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house, (I would buy you a house)
BNL are from Scarborough. I found a one bedroom house in the Danforth area (which I picked because they talk about buying a house “on the Danforth” in another song, Jane) for about $300,000

If I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house, (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
Ikea to the rescue! Basic furniture: Chesterfield ($400), ottoman ($100), 40" TV ($400 at Best Buy) + TV bench ($100), desk ($200), dining room table ($300) + 4 chairs ($200), queen size bed + frame (approx $1000) + bedding (approx $250), dresser ($200)... Grand total = $3150

And if I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car, (A nice Reliant automobile)
I had to look up what a K-Car is... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysler_K_platform ... Found a few 1987 Plymouth Reliants for sale.... $3400

If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars, I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars, You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
According to www.treetopbuilders.net, "The average basic kids treehouse, costs between $5,000 and $15,000." Let's average that at $10,000

If I had million dollars, Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out, Like open the fridge and stuff
Mini-fridge = $200

There would already be laid out foods for us, Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
It's freaking impossible to find prices of simple food items online.... I'm going to budget $15. That should buy plenty of pigs-in-blankets!

They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah!
They totally have that now. Reddi-Bacon. If I remember, it's about $5 a pack. So, let's say $15

If I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat, (But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
Full length faux fur coat = $800

And if I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet, (Yep, like a llama or an emu)
I can't believe how easy it was to find llamas for sale. Emus, not as easy... One llama = $1500 (Her name is Desiree!)

And if I had a million dollars, (If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
The closest thing I could find for a price for this is a rumour that Michael Jackson made an offer on them for $500,000

And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars, We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars, Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
2 hour limousine rental = $250

If I had a million dollars, We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more!
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm
Again, it's super hard to find prices for food online. I'm gonna budget $20 for this Kraft Dinner dijon ketchup feast.

If I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress, (But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
Dress = $50

And if I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art, (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
Picasso paintings are worth many many millions of dollars... Even just to get an exhibit of his to visit your city would cost around $3,000,000
Appearance by Art Garfunkel: $50,000 (estimate - he can be booked, but for a quote you need to contact his agent at http://www.celebritytalent.net/sampleta ... garfunkel/ ...It looks like anywhere between $10,000 and $2,000,000

If I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey, (Haven't you always wanted a monkey)
Apparently, anywhere between $1000-$7000. So, let's say $4000

If I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich!

Actually, no... If BNL had a million dollars, according to this list, they would still owe $2,873,400. I can't believe it, all they have to do is forget about the Picasso and they can still totally make this list work!! I'm impressed!

That took me like an hour, lol.

[totalmotorcycle]

Great song! I "knew" BNL when I was in high school BEFORE they were really famous. My 12th grade shop teacher was the father of Steven Page.

Mike

[sunshine229]

It's just crazy that someone would put effort into doing that... they must have been REAL bored!

If you watch the video for Lover's in a Dangerous Time, they drive around Mike's (and their) old neighbourhood in a pickup truck, you can see the local McD's and everything!

[QuietMonkey]

hmmmm... a fun little cost-analysis

To hit that real budget i know J.M.'s remains would be easily forgotten, and perhaps Garfunkel paints, so toss the Picasso idea, and although Paul Simon can command 2,000,000 i think Garfunkel has done little more than Slip Slide Away

Great song! I "knew" BNL when I was in high school BEFORE they were really famous. My 12th grade shop teacher was the father of Steven Page.

Mike

and do you still want to know Steven Page now that he's been kicked out of the band? (chuckle). definitely the darker side of BNL lay there.

[blues2cruise]

If I had a million dollars I could retire. I could pay off my mortgage and invest the rest to live off.

One can dream.... I could go where the sun is shining.