Funny But True News Stories #2 - An ongoing series

[totalmotorcycle]

Clinton sleeps on floor so elder Bush can have bed
Sunday, March 6, 2005




NEW YORK (AP) -- On their tour of tsunami damage in Southeast Asia, former President Bill Clinton once allowed his predecessor, former President George H.W. Bush, to sleep on the plane's only bed while he stretched out on the floor.

The government plane in which the presidents toured the disaster area had one large bedroom and another room with tables and seats, according to an interview with Bush in this week's Newsweek.

Bush, 80, said Clinton offered ahead of time to give the older former president the bedroom so he could lie flat and avoid paining his body. Clinton, 58, decided to play cards in the other room that night.

The next morning, Bush said he peeked in and saw Clinton sound asleep on the plane's floor.

"We could have switched places, each getting half a night on the bed, but he deferred to me. That was a very courteous thing, very thoughtful, and that meant a great deal to me," Bush said.

Bush said he and Clinton are not close, but have been compatible on the tour, partly because Clinton respects his age.

[totalmotorcycle]

Bubba to live on as shell of former self
Friday, March 4, 2005 Posted: 1231 GMT (2031 HKT)



PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A gigantic lobster that may have survived two world wars and Prohibition before being plucked from the ocean will live on -- but only as a shell of its former self.

The Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium plans to keep the shell of the 22-pound lobster, named Bubba, and use its remains to educate school children, said Rachel Capp, a zoo spokeswoman.

Some of Bubba's meat will be sent to labs for testing as officials try to determine why Bubba died, Capp said Thursday.

Bubba spent a week at Wholey's fish market after he was pulled from the waters off Nantucket, Massachusetts. He died Wednesday, after he was moved from the fish market to a quarantine area at the zoo's aquarium. He was being checked to see if he was healthy enough to make a trip to an aquarium at a Ripley's Believe It or Not museum.

Randy Goodlett, a marine biologist and former curator and director of the zoo's Aqua Zoo, said the lobster likely died because something was slightly off in the salt water mixture it was living in. Capp guessed it might have been the stress of being moved so many times.

Based on how long it typically takes a lobster to reach eating size -- about five to seven years to grow to a pound -- some estimated Bubba was about 100 years old. Marine biologists said 30 to 50 years was more likely.

[totalmotorcycle]

Police break in to find home-alone hamster
Monday, March 7, 2005




BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- A German man who went on holiday left his stereo and lights on so that his pet hamster would not feel lonely in the empty apartment, a police spokesman said on Monday after breaking into the home over fears the man may have died.

The spokesman for police in Bremen said police broke open the door after being alerted by neighbors that loud music was playing nonstop for five days and the lights were left on. No one answered the door when they knocked, police said.

"There was a fear the occupant might have been disabled or dead," a police spokesman said. "All we found was a pet hamster. The occupant was away on holiday. A friend of his arrived and said he left the music on so the hamster wouldn't feel lonely."

The spokesman said the friend of the occupant, who is still on holiday and not reachable, told police she visited every few days to feed the golden hamster food and provide water. She promised to turn the music down and come by more often.

[totalmotorcycle]

Dog-shaped bed-and-breakfast has leg up on lodging
Monday, March 14, 2005

Frances and Dennis Sullivan stand below a large beagle with a puppy, which is actually a three-story bed and breakfast in Cottonwood, Idaho.
Source: Dog Bark Park Inn





COTTONWOOD, Idaho (AP) -- Some of the best views in the tiny farming community of Cottonwood can be seen through the eyes of a dog.

Well, technically, through the temples of a giant, dog-shaped bed-and-breakfast.

The big dog, known as Sweet Willy Colton to his owners, opened for business last summer southeast of Lewiston.

"He was originally going to be a billboard, but over dinner one night in 1998 one of us said, 'What if it was a bed-and- breakfast?"' said Dennis Sullivan, Sweet Willy's creator and owner of Dog Bark Park. "We scribbled some plans out on a napkin that night."

Dennis and his wife, Frances Conklin, built the 35-foot beagle over the next several years, while maintaining their primary business, an unusual gift shop where they sell wooden dogs carved with a chain saw.

Sweet Willy's accommodations are bigger than they appear from the outside. Weary travelers can freshen up in the bathroom, appropriately housed in Willy's hindquarters. A bed, bookshelf, table and breakfast bar take up Willy's stomach.

And those who climb the ladder to Willy's nose find a loft, complete with board games and another sleeping space snuggled in the snout.

"When honeymooners come, we might put in a bottle of champagne or some bubble bath, and when anniversary couples come we might put in flowers," Conklin said. "We try to keep sort of personal little treats around."

The beagle bed-and-breakfast grew out of the sales of their carved dogs.

"I carve the head and tail and Frances does everything in between," Sullivan said. "I started about 20 years ago. It wasn't a mid-life crisis, I just didn't want to be a general contractor anymore."

Sullivan was interested in the folksy craft of chain saw art, but found most artists were making bears or eagles. He chose to carve dogs instead, starting with the beagle.

He branched out into Labradors, spaniels, shepherds and sheep dogs, even carving a series of chain saw sculptures depicting Seaman, Meriwether Lewis' beloved pet Newfoundland.

Now Sullivan and Conklin are veterans of home shopping network QVC, selling thousands of the carved canines when featured on the show a few years ago, he said. Visitors to their gift shop can have their own pet immortalized through a personalized carving.

Their dogs are identifiable through an obedience tag and a red bandanna, Conklin said.

"The dog tag shows they're licensed, and the bandanna shows they've been through obedience training -- they'll stay and be quiet," she said.

The couple moves through the carvings quickly. Each dog is cut from a wooden slab, using a template and a scroll saw. Then, using a chain saw, Conklin cuts out the legs and shapes the back before passing the piece to Sullivan, who saws the head and tail. The sculpture is painted, licensed and set out for display with the rest of the animals at Dog Bark Park.

They decided to build a bigger dog to draw travelers to the business, which sits on property bordering U.S. Highway 95.

Sweet Willy's predecessor, 12-foot Toby, still watches over the business. But to Sullivan and Conklin, bigger is always better -- at least when it comes to beagles.

"Once word got out that we were planning to build a bigger one, people kept asking when it would be finished," Sullivan said. "Part of the reason for building it was the process. I wanted to enjoy building the dog. So I used to say it was guaranteed to be finished by 2050, or two weeks earlier if the weather holds."

"The ears are made out of carpet and they're 14 feet long. You have to tie them down when you're up there, or they'll push you off the scaffolding if they catch a breeze," he said.

Conklin and Sullivan kept the inside rooms of the dog rounded, mimicking the outside of the structure. The rounded shape made interior construction especially difficult, Sullivan said.

"I'd get frustrated, but one visitor told me that if you ever get discouraged, think of the people driving buy with a smile when they see your dog," Sullivan said. "It brought me back to what this should be. Of course, we're in this business to make money, but we could use a little smile once in a while too."

RELATED
Dog Bark Park Inn

FACT BOX
The Dog Bark Inn accomodations: -- Sleeps four, with a queen bed and two twin fold-out futon mattresses in the loft.

-- No phone or TV.

-- Dogs/cats allowed for an additional charge of $10.

-- Nightly rate: $88 including breakfast, double occupancy; additional guests are $8 a person.

[totalmotorcycle]

Donkey arrested after traffic accident
Wednesday, March 9, 2005



BOGOTA, Colombia (AP) -- The suspect was a little long in the face after being arrested and is braying for an early release.

Police said Tuesday they detained the suspect, a donkey named Pacho, after a motorcycle crashed into it on a road in a northeastern city, with the motorcyclist suffering serious injuries.

"When there are road accidents and serious injuries, the vehicles involved are always impounded," said Diana Rojas, spokeswoman for the Arauca city police department.

"We had to impound both the donkey and the motorcycle and put them at the disposal of investigators so they can decide what to do with them and whether to release them," she said.

Pacho's owner, Nelson Gonzalez, said no one should pin the blame on the donkey for Sunday's crash.

"Neither the donkey nor I were responsible because I was in front and the motorcyclist saw me,"Gonzalez told RCN television.

The motorcyclist remained in the hospital on Tuesday.

The donkey, whose legs were hurt in the crash, is being held at an impound yard in Arauca. Gonzalez has been trekking to the site to feed his donkey. Rojas said it was unclear when the investigation would be concluded.

[totalmotorcycle]

Twinkies the subject of cream-filled exhibit
Tuesday, March 15, 2005



PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A child plucks a Twinkie from a tree.

Another Twinkie stands in for Jesus in an interpretation of Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper."

Such are the imaginings of sugary snack by members of the American Society of Media Photographers' Pittsburgh chapter.

For its annual object show, held at Point Park University this year, the group selects one object that members must incorporate in their creations. Past items have included an umbrella, a baseball and a piece of wire.

"This is like our big, fun thing to do," Tom Altany, chairman of the exhibition committee, said.

So why the famous cream-filled yellow cake?

"Twinkies are fun," said Altany, whose wife suggested using them.

Altany, who acknowledges he's not very religious, entered "The Last Snack," in which baby dolls with their heads replaced by snack cakes sit at a long table. Jesus is the only Twinkie.

After his wife came up the idea, Altany contacted Interstate Bakeries Corp. -- the Kansas City, Missouri, company that makes the Hostess snack -- to see if they'd be willing to help. Turns out, the Twinkie turns 75 this May and the company was happy to oblige, supplying nearly 1,000 Twinkies for the artists and as freebies at the show, which runs through April 7.

"We thought it was a great fit for us," said Jacques Roizen, chief marketing officer for Interstate Bakeries, noting that Twinkies are part of American culture.

Indeed.

In 1999, seniors from Shoreline, Washington, chose the Twinkie as "an object of American symbolism" to be included in the nation's time capsule. And after former San Francisco supervisor Dan White killed Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk in 1978, the defense argued diminished capacity due in part junk food consumption. The tactic became known as the "Twinkie Defense."

While Roizen said Twinkies must have been used as art before, he was unaware of a specific example.

Roizen is quick to defend charges that Twinkies are junk food. And while he acknowledges that Twinkies stand for indulgence, high calories and are considered a kid's snack, he said that "way more than 50 percent" are eaten by adults.

Several photographers appreciated being able to eat their subject.

"I hadn't eaten a Twinkie in probably 20 years," Altany said. "If you get the Twinkie fresh from the factory, oh, you can't believe the difference."

Archie Carpenter's piece, "When the Twinkie Is Gone," consists of nine different images on foam boards, each image the bits of cake left after the Twinkie is peeled from its backing.

Visitors are invited to write what they see -- a sort of Rorschach test. In one, Carpenter said, his friend sees the Shroud of Turin, which some Christians believe was Jesus' burial shroud.

Perhaps. Wait. Yes, it sort of does.

Two dozen photographs make up the exhibit. One features rows of Twinkies in a heavy green tint, giving it a chunky, graphic feel. Perhaps a nod to Pittsburgh native Andy Warhol?

In another, a Twinkie stands in for a stone pillar at Stonehenge.

Oddly enough, three photographs display the Twinkie in a tree as though it were some sort of fruit.

Greg Blackman, who shot one of the tree photos, said his is a parody of the Mary Cassatt painting, "Young Women Picking Fruit." His 9-year-old twins, Jonah and Tobias, stand in for the women.

And yes, he said, his boys loved eating the Twinkies.

[totalmotorcycle]

Third-grader commutes to school by mule
Wednesday, March 16, 2005 Posted: 1526 GMT (2326 HKT)





BISMARCK, North Dakota (AP) -- Saje Beard's half-hour commute to class is the envy of her four classmates at a one-room schoolhouse just south of here.

Most mornings, the third-grader makes the trek on Ruth the mule.

"She's called many things, but Ruth is what we call her in public," Saje said of the 4-year-old gray mule. "Actually, that's my dad's joke. She's really nice and gentle. And she sure is smart."

Saje, 9, is an old hand at maneuvering mules. She's been doing it since she was in first grade.

"I feel more safe with her riding a mule than having her ride in a car or on a bus," said her father, Marty Beard.

At the Manning School, about 15 miles south of the North Dakota capital, Saje "parks" Ruth by tying her with a bowline to a tree near swing sets and monkey bars. Ruth then gets some leather hobbles attached to her front legs, a routine Saje began after her other mule, Shirley, got loose and ran home from school last year.

Saje's classmates, who are in kindergarten through fourth grade, help take off Ruth's saddle and tack. It's stored in the school's cloakroom, next to basketballs and other playground equipment.

The five children then run to the school's flagpole to recite the Pledge of Allegiance and sing the national anthem. The mule, named Ruth, prances and kicks up dirt as the children sing.

"It's cool," Lucas Irving, 10, said of his classmate and her mode of transportation. "She's cool."

Saje would ride Ruth every morning, but her dad won't let her if the temperature is below zero -- "even if she insists."

Saje proved just how much she's willing to endure on a recent trek to school in below-freezing temperatures and strong winds.

"My cheeks are burning," she said, "but that's OK."

Saje gets up at sunup to prepare for school. She brushes Ruth and feeds her grain, then hoists an old saddle that weighs nearly as much as she does over the chubby mule.

"Come on Ruthie, come on mule," she says as she leads her mount to the front yard.

Saje raises her foot above her head to reach a stirrup, pulls herself up and swings the other leg over. She pulls down the coonskin hat her father made and gives Ruth a gentle nudge in the ribs.

"Let's go girl," she says.

Saje has corn and sweet peas stuffed in saddlebags for Ruth's lunch, and for treats during the school's three recesses. Her homework and a tuna fish sandwich are in her backpack, tied to the mule.

Saje and Ruth follow a gravel road and pass dozens of horses from other farms during the two-mile trip. Ruth is fitted with special carbide-studded shoes to make the already sure-footed animal even more so, especially on ice.

Mules are known for protecting themselves and their riders. Marty Beard said the mule would likely attack anyone who hassled Saje along the route.

"She would probably implant those special shoes on their forehead," he said.

The trip home always is a little faster: Ruth knows she'll have some grain waiting, so she picks up the pace without prodding, Saje said.

Kris Beard, Saje's mother, said even some of their rural neighbors find her daughter's mule commute unusual.

"It's not strange for us, but for other people it is quite different," she said. "We're very fortunate to live here."